before anything, just know i lost someone really close to me. they took their life, and it's been messing me up a lot more than i thought it would. ever since it happened, i've kinda shut down. i stopped showering, stopped brushing my teeth, stopped doing basic stuff like eating or even talking to people. i know it sounds gross or lazy but it's not that simple. depression already made things hard but now it's like 10x worse.
someone from school even texted me once 'cause i had a smell. that shit was embarrassing but it made me realize how far gone i was. i joke around a lot n act like everything's fine but it's really not. if i've been weird or off with you, it's not on purpose. i don't mean to hurt anyone or come off like an asshole, i'm just not doing good rn. not saying this for pity or anything, just explaining. pls don't be too hard on me. i'm tryna deal with it even if it don't look like it.