My parents want me to marry a man and have a kid, though yeah i do want a bisexual/polysexual/omnisexual/pansexual (of preference) husband, (and i'd like to date a girl someday even if i never liked one romantically and i'm bisexual homormantic) like it's just the natural order of things. Like I'm supposed to accept it, smile, and play along because "that's life." But here's the truth: If I ever had a kid, I wouldn't love them. Not in the way a parent is supposed to.

The baby would just exist: a thing that happened to me, not something I wanted. A responsibility thrown into my lap, something I'd have to deal with, not something I'd cherish. Sure, I can take care of someone else's kid for a while. Feed them, watch them, make sure they don't get hurt. But actual emotional attachment? That's not in me. I don't like kids, I don't feel anything deep for them, and I never will.

And I know this because I've seen it before. I had a cat, and even then, I barely took care of it. I should've, but I didn't. Not because I'm cruel, but because the connection wasn't there. It was just a thing in my house, something I interacted with when it was convenient. That's exactly what would happen if I had a child.

I have OCD, and the thoughts that come with it are dark, intrusive, and terrifying. Thoughts that tell me to hurt, to kill, to destroy. I don't act on them, but they're there, whispering, lurking. And if those thoughts are already haunting me, why the hell should I put a child anywhere near that?

I am not built for marriage. I am not built for children. And no amount of pushing, guilt-tripping, or "you'll change your mind" will make it true. If anything, forcing me into that life would destroy me. And in the process, destroy whoever gets trapped in it with me.

I don't feel things the way other people do. I know I'm supposed to feel happy or sad or excited or whatever the hell. But honestly, most of the time, I'm just… empty. Numb. Not dead, not really—just not alive either. Like, I don't get it. I should feel something, right? But all I can muster is anger. Or, sometimes, tears. But they're not even my tears. It's like my body just decides to cry for the hell of it, but there's no emotion behind it.

And then, there's the anger. It builds up and I don't know how to get rid of it. It's like there's all this stuff inside me—stuff I don't even know how to process. So I just bottle it up until it comes out in some way I can't control, like a punch to the wall or the silence that feels too loud.

I'm aroace, and it feels like everyone's playing this game I don't want to be a part of. People talk about love and relationships like it's the whole point of existence, but it's all noise to me. I'm not missing out. I don't care. I'm not interested. But that doesn't stop them from pushing it.

I get disgusted by the smallest things people do. The way they talk, the way they breathe too loud, the way they smile, or don't. Everything feels like a game of show-and-tell to me. And I'm just sitting there, observing, quietly, waiting for it all to fall apart so I can leave.

Maybe that's why I think I'm a sociopath. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm just asocial. I don't care to greet people, to fake the niceties of conversation. I just observe. I see everything but I don't engage. I watch. I'm good at that. The world keeps moving, and I'm just a bystander, waiting for something to make me feel. But it never does.

Why do I reject help and rather be alone? It's complicated. It's not that I want to be alone. Honestly, I do want friends. The problem is that the effort it takes to be friends with someone, the emotional labor, the constant back-and-forth of messages, learning about their lives, their problems, their needs—it's exhausting.

I start out excited, like, "oh, this person's cool, they like Half-Life too." I'm the first one to hit follow or reply because I want to connect. But somewhere along the way, I lose interest. It's like the more I learn about them, the less I care. The messages pile up, and the deeper the conversations go, the more drained I feel.

And with real-life people, it's even worse. It's not like I can ignore them or put my phone down and pretend I'm busy. They're right there, in front of me. So I nod, I fake it, I play the part. I go through the motions, just waiting for them to get to the point where they stop talking.

Maybe it's also because I hate conflict. Avoiding drama has become an instinct. And that probably ties back to childhood—when I used to try and make friends but somehow always ended up feeling like an outsider. I don't know what it was. But they'd always ask me, "Why are you like that?" And I'd be like, I don't know. I don't mean to be different, it's just how I am.

I guess it's just easier to be alone. At least that way, I don't have to worry about letting anyone down or pretending to be something I'm not. At least that way, I'm not wasting my energy trying to be what they want me to be, and I can just exist without the pressure.

The frustration of needing space but also wanting connection—it's like being caught in a constant tug-of-war between two sides of myself that don't align. It's like I'm living in a weird paradox. I want people close, but then when they're too close, I just want to shut down and push them away.

I crave that closeness, but as soon as it feels too real, too intimate, it makes me feel trapped, suffocated, like I'm being smothered. And then I get angry. Not at them, but at myself. Because it's like I should want them around. I should be comfortable with affection, with real connection. But instead, I just get this overwhelming need to be alone.

It's like being a cat. I'll rub up against you, purr, get all warm and fuzzy, but the moment you try to pet me, I'll swat you away or run off. I crave that attention, but when it's actually there, I can't handle it. It makes me feel vulnerable, exposed, like I'm being forced into something I'm not ready for.

But here's the thing: if it's fictional characters or my OCs? That's a whole different story. I can give them all the attention, all the affection, all the emotional connection without feeling that suffocating pressure. It's like they exist on my terms, and they're not going to demand anything from me.

The problem is that real people don't come with that kind of control. They don't fit neatly into the boxes I make for myself, and it messes with the comfort I'm used to. I wish it were easier to find that balance between wanting people close and needing my space.

Reddit is weird. Like, really weird. It's this place where you can find the most random and helpful advice, see people solving true crime cases better than actual detectives, and witness absolute internet genius in the form of memes. But it's also where you find some of the most judgmental, pessimistic, and downright miserable people who will drag any conversation into the ground.

It's like Redditors will figure out the name of a murderer based on the reflection in a spoon from a 240p video, but ask them to find their dad and suddenly it's a blank screen. The level of research skills here is unmatched—post a blurry photo of an ancient artifact, and within an hour, someone has traced its entire historical background. But post about a basic life problem, and half the responses will be people projecting their own bitterness.

There's this weird divide. On one side, you have communities that are genuinely helpful, sharing advice, experiences, and creative ideas. But then you wander into another thread, and it's like stepping into a black hole of negativity. People will pick apart every word you say, twist it, assume the worst, and argue just to argue.

And don't even get me started on the constant gender wars. The amount of posts complaining about the "dating scene" is insane. Reddit makes it sound like no one is dating, no one is happy, and everyone is just miserable and blaming the other gender for it. But step outside of Reddit? People are finding relationships, being happy, and actually living life.

But for all its problems, I can't leave. Because I still like Reddit. I like the weird opinions, the random creations, the discussions that go from serious to stupid in seconds. It's entertaining. It's frustrating. It's addictive. I love it, but I also kinda hate it. And maybe that's just the Reddit experience.

Can we talk about how unnecessary sex scenes are in most movies? Like, I'm here to watch a heist go down, or some guy punch another guy through a wall, not to see two people going at it like they're possessed by demons. Seriously. It's like, one second, it's all explosions and action, and the next, it's slow music, weird lighting, and some woman arching her back in ways that'd snap a normal spine. Why? For what?

It's not even about being a prude. It's just... why is this here? Half the time it doesn't even add to the story. It's like the director went, "Hmm, we've had enough car chases and gunfights. Let's throw in a random sex scene so it's edgy." I didn't come here for that. I came here for the plot, the drama, the fight scenes, the intensity—not to sit awkwardly while the movie turns into softcore for five minutes.

And it's always the same. Slow, dramatic shots, heavy breathing, a lot of weird close-ups that make you think, "Is this even comfortable for them?" Like, I get it, they're in love or whatever. Cool. But I don't need a full breakdown of how it happened. Just imply it. Close the damn door. Cut to the morning after. Keep it moving.

It feels like such a cheap way to grab attention too. Like the movie's trying to be more "mature" but just ends up looking awkward.

The way people shit on small boobs like they're a fucking design flaw pisses me off to no end. Like, how did we reach a point where having smaller tits is treated like a defect instead of just… a normal variation of the human body? You have people straight-up calling AFAB folks "no boobs" as if every single person doesn't have at least some fat and tissue there. They exist. They're just not massive. What the fuck do you mean "no boobs"? You blind??

And don't even get me started on the insecurity this bullshit creates. The way society hypes up big boobs like they're the golden standard of femininity makes people with smaller chests feel like they're lacking something. Like they need to compensate for it. I remember stuffing my bra with socks, and of course, some classmates noticed because kids are demons. That kind of shame sticks with you.

And the worst part? There are actual advantages to having smaller boobs, but nobody talks about that. No back pain, no struggling to find bras that actually fit without suffocating you, no constant bouncing when you run. You can sleep on your belly in pure comfort without feeling like you're crushing yourself. But no, let's ignore all that and act like the only thing that matters is how much cleavage you can shove into a push-up bra.

Bodies aren't trends. Small boobs aren't a fucking defect. They're normal, they're fine, and anyone who says otherwise can go choke.

Let me tell you something about those people who gaslight you about mental health. These assholes act like mental illness is just some choice you can snap out of when you're in a bad mood or feeling a little stressed. They throw out their little "just get over it" or "everyone has bad days" like you haven't been through hell just to get through a single day.

These are the same people who'll turn into experts when it comes to your struggles, telling you to "think positive" or "you're just overthinking it." They'll make it seem like you're the one at fault for having an emotional or psychological issue. It's not "just in your head." Mental health issues are real and no, they're not something that you can just snap out of with a little pep talk.

These people love to sit on their high horses acting like they've mastered life, not understanding that mental health is not about being weak—it's about surviving something that's literally built into your brain chemistry or trauma. But sure, go ahead, tell a person who's barely keeping their shit together to just "try harder."

What's even worse? Those people who say "everyone goes through it," like because they've had a bad week or felt "down" for a couple of days, that's the same thing as dealing with long-term, crushing mental health battles. No. Just because you had a rough weekend doesn't mean you get to understand what it's like to live with a constant weight in your chest, to spend hours just trying to find the energy to leave your house, to feel like you're drowning in your own head.

The lack of empathy is infuriating. These people are quick to invalidate, quick to tell you to toughen up, quick to throw around their self-righteous bullshit about how they've dealt with their shit and you should be able to too. If you're not going to offer actual support, just shut up and let the people who need help get it without your judgment hanging over them.

Sex is overrated. Yeah, I said it. And before some dude with a cum-stained keyboard tries to argue, let me just clarify: I'm a virgin, I'll die a virgin, and honestly? I don't give a fuck. Sex is like a shitty movie everyone hypes up—Sex: The Movie (2014), directed by Society. And then when you think it's over, here comes the sequel—Sex 2: Electric Boogaloo, except now it's a never-ending franchise and people act like if you're not watching, you're missing out on the meaning of life.

Like, sex is fine or whatever, but people treat it like it's the ultimate goal. "Oh, you haven't had sex yet? Bro, you're missing out." Missing out on what? Awkward fumbling, weird smells, the risk of catching something just because someone decided to raw dog a Tinder hookup, the possibility of bad hygiene, the uncomfortable post-nut regret, the existential crisis afterward, the pressure to fake enjoyment, and the awkward "so… what now?" moment when it's over?

And don't even get me started on how society is obsessed with it. Every ad, every song, every damn toothpaste commercial somehow circles back to "fuckability." It's like we're all trapped in one big PornHub ad, and if you're not participating, you're defective. People act like virginity is this ticking time bomb, like the second you hit 20, your junk just self-destructs.

At the end of the day, sex is just another human function. You eat, you shit, you fuck. Cool, congrats. It's not some sacred experience. It's not the meaning of existence. I'm not a prude. I just think there's more to life than chasing the elusive orgasm. That's all. Some of us just don't give a fuck about it, and that's fine. Now let me be a virgin in peace.

I'm so DONE with people defending companies like Shein and Temu. Shein warriors are so insufferable. SHEIN IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST, and if you're still supporting them, you're a piece of shit. Do you even give a damn about anything besides getting your cheap, plastic-ass clothes? No, because you're too busy being a lazy, ignorant, selfish person to understand what it actually costs to make that $10 t-shirt you think is so cute.

Shein is the EPITOME OF EVIL. They steal designs from independent creators and then sell them for a fraction of the price. Oh, and they're not just stealing money, they're stealing LIVES. You know that toxic stuff that's in their clothes? Toxins that can burn your skin, cause rashes, and harm your body.

These companies are also just DESTROYING THE PLANET. Their fast fashion garbage ends up in landfills and doesn't even break down. That stuff you're wearing? It's going to be rotting in the ground for HUNDREDS OF YEARS and poisoning the earth. You're sitting there wearing a $10 shirt while the Earth is choking on your fast fashion habits.

And don't give me that weak excuse of "I don't have the money to buy other clothes." There's no excuse for ignorance. There are ways to get clothes that don't come with child labor, pollution, and cultural theft. But if you're too lazy to look, too selfish to care about the people suffering for your wardrobe, then you're just another part of the problem.

STOP BUYING FROM THEM. Stop supporting companies that are actively making the world worse. If you want to be part of the solution, start RESPECTING DESIGNERS, WORKERS, AND THE PLANET. BTW DNI IF YOU BUY FROM THEM. SHA, IDC.

TW: PEDOPHILIA

I DO NOT SUPPORT CHILD PREDATORS.
Please read this carefully.

DNI IF you send death threats or think harassment fixes anything.

Pedophilia ≠ child abuse.
Being a child predator is a crime.
Having pedophilia (without acting on it) is a medically recognized mental disorder.

People who recognize their thoughts and seek therapy deserve help, not harassment.
I do NOT defend anyone who grooms or harms children.

Many people with pedophilic thoughts feel guilt, fear, and distress.
Some developed it due to past trauma, including being victims themselves.

The only controllable part is whether someone acts on it.
If you touch a child, no one can defend you.

If resources and therapy were more accessible, it would reduce child abuse.
Harassment does the opposite.

POCD exists.
OCD can cause intrusive thoughts involving pedophilia, racism, homophobia, transphobia, incest without the person agreeing with or wanting those thoughts.

I don’t want to be your friend if you think bullying or telling someone to kill themselves is okay because they have POCD.

HOWEVER:
People who groom kids, seek out children’s spaces, call themselves MAPs, or engage in loli content DO deserve consequences.

Help those who want help.
Punish those who cause harm.

On Bloodhound Gang (the ultra-long, unhinged 3am depressed Redditor rant i didn't ask for but desperately needed)

Jimmy Pop – The Guy Who Turned Cringe Into an Art Form and Somehow Survived Jimmy Pop (James Moyer Franks, born August 27, 1972, in Trappe, Pennsylvania) is literally the only constant in Bloodhound Gang's existence, and if you think about it too hard it kinda hurts because this man has been carrying the same dumb, horny, self-deprecating energy since the late 80s like it's his full-time job. He started in 1988 with Bang Chamber 8 alongside Michael "Daddy Long Legs" Bowe, Kevin Hennessey, and Justin Ianelli – dropping that four-song cassette *Just Another Demo* in 1990 that had zero cohesion (rap-metal proto stuff, but honestly just kids messing around). By 1991 the original lineup imploded, and in 1992 Jimmy and Bowe rebranded to Bloodhound Gang after some random PBS kids' show skit about detective dogs – peak early-90s absurdity. They were grinding basement shows, CBGBs, house parties where the floor literally collapsed once (iconic fail). Early demos like *The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack to Hitler's Handicapped Helpers* (1994) and the *Dingleberry Haze* EP got them signed to Cheese Factory Records. Jimmy even popped up in a 1995 short film *The Chick That Was Naked* with a BHG track on the soundtrack – dude was hustling.

Signed to Columbia in 1995 for their debut Use Your Fingers – immature rap-rock vibes, but it tanked so hard they got dropped almost immediately. Instead of quitting (like a normal person would), Jimmy rebuilt the band with Evil Jared and others, dropped One Fierce Beer Coaster in '96 on Cheese Factory (later Republic/Geffen after a bidding war that apparently had Madonna's Maverick label begging for them). "Fire Water Burn" starts blowing up on college radio (KNDD Seattle, KROQ LA), sparking massive label interest – Geffen re-releases it, and suddenly they're everywhere: Loveline, Howard Stern, Ricki Lake, Jenny McCarthy Show. Extensive US/Euro tours, Hooray for Boobies (1999 Europe, 2000 US) sells over 5 million copies worldwide – "The Bad Touch" tops charts in Germany, Austria, etc., cover of "Along Comes Mary" hits top 10 there too. They win Rockbjörnen for Best International Song (1999) and ECHO for Best International Newcomer (2000). Jimmy's lyrics? Peak degenerate wordplay – "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo," "Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss," "The Ballad of Chasey Lain" – all horny nonsense wrapped in clever puns that somehow feel cathartic when you're a depressed teen questioning gender and existence at 3am. As a dude who grew up blasting "Fire Water Burn" while avoiding mirrors, his humor hits like that one friend who roasts your pain but makes it bearable. Meme ref: He's the original "discovery channel" guy turning animal sex facts into bangers – eternal thirst trap energy. Hefty Fine (2005) named after Evil Jared's $10k Viva La Bam fine – singles like "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" and "Uhn Tiss" get airplay, "Pennsylvania" pushes for state anthem status (hilarious). 2007's "Screwing You on the Beach at Night" video in 2010. Then the big controversies: 2013 Russia/Ukraine flag disaster – July 30 Kyiv show, Jared urinates on Ukrainian flag (hooliganism charges), next day Odesa, In July the band's bassist, "Evil" Jared Hasselhoff, stuffed a Russian flag down his trousers while on stage in Ukraine.("don't tell Putin"). Crowd riots, Anapa gig canceled, airport assault (eggs, tomatoes, spit on US flag), lifetime bans from both countries. Jimmy always framed it as dumb shock humor, not political hate – apologized for Russian part, but damage done. Geffen censored "Yellow Fever" from One Fierce Beer Coaster for East Asian stereotypes. 2006 Rock am Ring/Pinkpop "golden shower" during Depeche Mode cover – pure provocation.

2010 "Altogether Ooky" single, Show Us Your Hits greatest hits with new tracks. 2014 teases "Chew Toy," "American Bitches," "Dimes," "Clean Up in Aisle Sexy," "Uncool as Me" feat. Joey Fatone. Hard-Off drops December 18, 2015 – last full album. Hiatus since for family time. But Jimmy never quit – July 2023 says they're still working on new music, not broken up. October 2024 Evil Jared posts Instagram video mocking Oasis reunion, Linkin Park drama, etc., implying BHG return bigger. July 2025 Jimmy posts X photos from Malta studio showing demos with Adam "The Yin" Perry and Daniel P. Carter – actual recording progress, not just talk. As of late 2025, still teasing. As a depressed dude who uses their music to cope with dysphoria and existential dread, Jimmy's unapologetic stupidity is comforting – like if the void had a sense of humor. Meme ref: He's the "this is fine" dog but the room is on fire and he's pouring gasoline. I respect him for never selling out, even when the world tried to cancel him. If 2025 drops new stuff, I'll be crying in my room at 4am to it, no cap.

Evil Jared Hasselhoff – The 6'5" Agent of International Incidents Evil Jared (Jared Hennegan, born August 5, 1971) joined bass/backing vocals in 1995 right after Columbia dropped them – became the perfect loud, tall counterpart to Jimmy's deadpan. His energy turned shows into absolute riots – screaming backups, stage-diving, turning every gig into controlled chaos. The *Hefty Fine* title? From his $10k fine on *Viva La Bam* for a prank gone nuclear (Bam Margera involved, of course). But the big one: 2013 flag apocalypse. July 30 Kyiv – he urinates on Ukrainian flag onstage, crowd amused but outrage follows (hooliganism charges). August 2 Odesa – stuffs Russian flag down pants, pulls it out back ("don't tell Putin"). Crowd loses it, Anapa gig canceled, airport mob with eggs/tomatoes/spit on US flag, band chased out, lifetime bans from Russia/Ukraine. Jared apologized publicly, said it was shock humor/band tradition (passing stuff through pants), not hate – but the damage was done. Russia threatened criminal charges, Ukraine banned him 5 years. He's been loyal through everything: Geffen bidding war, Euro tours after Hooray for Boobies, 2005-2015 hiatus for family (he's got kids, moved to Germany 2006). 2017 joked about reforming if Trump impeached. As of 2025, he's part of the comeback teases – October 2024 Instagram video mocking other reunions/scandals, saying BHG return bigger. As a teen on Reddit, his unfiltered chaos is aspirational – like that friend who says the worst thing in the group chat but would die for you. Meme ref: He's the "hold my beer" guy before international incidents. Underrated for keeping bass funky and shows explosive. Without him, BHG would've been tame.

Daniel P. Carter – The One Who Actually Grew Up (But Still Shreds) Daniel P. Carter (born 1980) joined lead guitar/backing vocals in 2009 after Lupus Thunder quit over touring burnout – brought real musicianship to the late era. Shredded on *Hard-Off* (2015), added depth to singles like "Dimes" and "Uncool as Me." Outside BHG, he's BBC Radio 1 Rock Show host (2011-present), interviewing legends, plus art/design work. No personal scandals – he's the stable one in a band of clowns. I doomscroll radio/podcasts at dawn, his vibe is grounding – like that "this is fine" dog in a burning room. Meme ref: He's the "quiet kid" dropping lore when you're spiraling. Essential for post-2008 stability; likely in 2025 Malta demos with Jimmy and The Yin.

DJ Q-Ball – The Sample King Who Keeps the Beats Filthy Harry Dean Jr. (DJ Q-Ball, born 1972) joined 1995 on keyboards/turntables/programming/backing vocals – electronic glue for rap-rock fusion. Made "Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss" slap, sampled everything from 80s hits to weird noises in *Hefty Fine*. Survived all changes from *One Fierce Beer Coaster* to *Hard-Off*. No solo controversies, just ride-or-die for the shock rep. I use music to numb brain noise, his loops are brain candy. Meme ref: "Distracted boyfriend" staring at turntables. Part of 2025 teases.

The Yin (Adam Perry) – The Drummer Who Never Complains Adam Perry (The Yin, born 1969) joined drums/backing vocals 2006 from ex-Kula Shaker/A – pounded *Hard-Off*, sporadic shows. No drama – just reliable beats. His consistency is comforting. Meme ref: "Backbone" holding chaos. In 2025 Malta demos.

Former Members – The Ghosts Who Built the Myth Daddy Long Legs (Michael Bowe) co-founder '92, vocals/bass till '95, left for Wolfpac after Columbia flop. Lupus Thunder (Matthew Stigliano) guitar '94-2008, classic era shredder, quit burnout. M.S.G. (Matthew Clarke) turntables '94-95. Skip O'Pot2Mus drums '92-95. Willie The New Guy drums '99-2006. Pre-BHG like Kevin Hennessey laid demos. No beefs – just life, feeling temporary, relatable. Meme: "Ghosted but left lore."

BHGs legacy is 90s/00s degeneracy – horny lyrics, flag stunts, golden showers onstage, but it's dumb fun, not malice. For me, they're comfort food: problematic, nostalgic, freeing. Hoping 2025 Malta demos drop. Peace.

I'm so tired of people treating romantic love like it's the ultimate goal of human existence. Like if you're not constantly chasing a relationship, you're somehow incomplete. Broken. Missing out. Like your life has no meaning until you find "the one."

Newsflash: not everyone wants that. Not everyone feels that. And for those of us who are aromantic and asexual, we're constantly bombarded with the message that we're defective because we don't experience romantic or sexual attraction the way everyone else apparently does.

It's exhausting being aroace in a world that revolves around romance. Every movie, every song, every conversation eventually circles back to relationships. "Are you dating anyone?" "When are you getting a boyfriend/girlfriend?" "You'll find someone eventually." No, I won't. Because I'm not looking. Because I don't want that. And that should be enough of an answer, but it never is.

People act like being single is a disease that needs to be cured. Like if you're not in a relationship, you must be lonely, sad, or just waiting for the right person to come along. But I'm not waiting. I'm living. I'm complete as I am. I don't need a romantic partner to validate my existence or make my life worth living.

The "You'll Change Your Mind" Brigade

And then there's the whole "you'll change your mind" bullshit. Thanks for invalidating my lived experience because it doesn't fit into your narrow view of what makes a life fulfilling. I'm not going through a phase. I'm not just "picky." I'm aroace, and that's not going to change.

It's like people can't comprehend that someone genuinely doesn't experience these feelings. They think I'm lying, or in denial, or traumatized, or haven't met the right person yet. But I'm just aroace. That's it. That's the whole explanation. I don't feel romantic or sexual attraction, and that's not a problem that needs solving.

The Loneliness Myth

People love to assume that being aroace means being lonely. But I'm not lonely. I have friends. I have hobbies. I have things I'm passionate about. I have a life that's full and meaningful without needing someone to complete me.

The idea that you need a romantic relationship to be happy is one of the most toxic lies society sells. It's this pervasive belief that you're incomplete without a partner. But that's bullshit. You can be perfectly happy, perfectly fulfilled, perfectly complete on your own or with platonic relationships.

Friendships matter. They're real, deep, meaningful connections that society constantly devalues because they're not romantic. Platonic intimacy is real. It's valid. It's enough.

The "Have You Tried?" Question

Oh, and let's talk about the people who ask, "But have you tried being in a relationship? How do you know you don't want it if you haven't tried?" Because apparently, I need to force myself into something I don't want just to prove to other people that I know myself.

That's like asking a gay person, "But have you tried being straight?" It's the same ignorant logic. I don't need to try something to know I don't want it. I don't need to force myself into a romantic or sexual relationship to validate my identity. I already know who I am.

The Pressure to "Settle Down"

Then there's the societal expectation that everyone needs to "settle down" eventually. Get married, have kids, build a life with a partner. And if you're not doing that, people look at you like you're a failure.

But why is that the only acceptable life path? Why can't a life focused on friendships, careers, hobbies, or personal growth be just as valid and fulfilling?

I don't want to get married. I don't want kids. I don't want a romantic partner. And I'm not saying that because I'm damaged or scared. I'm saying it because that's genuinely not what I want for my life. And the fact that I have to defend that, justify that, explain that over and over again is exhausting.

The "Not Queer Enough" Problem

The worst part? Even in LGBTQ+ spaces, aroace people get treated like we're not queer enough. Like our struggles don't matter because we're not fighting for the right to marry or be in relationships. We're not visible. We're not loud.

But we're fighting for the right to exist without being pathologized, without being told we're missing out, without being pressured into relationships we don't want. We're fighting to be recognized as a valid identity, not a disorder, not a phase, not something that needs to be fixed.

The Hypersexualization of Everything

Let's also talk about how sex-obsessed society is. Everything is sexualized. If you're not interested in sex, people look at you like you're an alien.

I'm tired of sex being treated like the pinnacle of human connection. Because it's not. Not for everyone. For me, sex is just… nothing. I'm just asexual. I don't experience sexual attraction. And that's not a flaw. That's not something that needs to be fixed. That's just who I am.

The Romance Industrial Complex

Romance is everywhere. It's shoved down our throats from the moment we're born. We're conditioned from childhood to believe that romance is the ultimate goal, the thing that will make us whole.

But what if it doesn't? What if you reach adulthood and realize you just don't feel that way about anyone? Society doesn't have an answer for that. So we're left feeling like outsiders. Like we're broken because we don't want what everyone else seems to want so desperately.

Because there's nothing wrong with us. We're not broken. We're not missing out. We're just different. And different should be okay.

Amatonormativity Is Everywhere

Amatonormativity is the assumption that romantic relationships are universal, that everyone wants them, that they're more important than any other type of connection. It's the belief that romantic love is superior to all other forms of love.

And it's everywhere. It's in the way people ask "Are you seeing anyone?" as a measure of your happiness. It's in the way friendships are seen as secondary to romantic relationships. It's in the way tax benefits, legal rights, and social recognition are tied to being in a romantic partnership.

And for those of us who are aroace, amatonormativity is suffocating. It's a constant reminder that we don't fit. That our way of experiencing the world is seen as less valid, less important, less real.

Redefining Love and Connection

But here's the thing: love doesn't have to be romantic. Connection doesn't have to be sexual. You can have deep, meaningful, fulfilling relationships without romance or sex being involved. Friendships can be just as important, just as intimate, just as life-changing as romantic relationships.

For aroace people, friendships aren't practice. They're the main event. They're the relationships that matter most. And they deserve to be treated as such.

I'm not missing out. I'm living a full, rich, meaningful life. It just looks different from what society expects.

The Medicalization of Asexuality

Let's also talk about how the medical community treats asexuality. For years, it was considered a disorder. And even though it's been removed from the DSM, plenty of doctors still treat it like one.

If you go to a doctor and say you don't experience sexual attraction, they'll run tests. They'll try to find a medical explanation for why you're "broken." Because they can't accept that some people just don't experience sexual attraction.

And that's dehumanizing. That's being told that your identity isn't real. But there's nothing wrong with me. I don't need to be fixed. I'm asexual. That's not a disorder. That's just who I am.

The Betrayal of "Representation"

Aroace characters are almost nonexistent in media. And when they do appear, they're usually portrayed as robots, aliens, or sociopaths. Because apparently, not experiencing romantic or sexual attraction makes you less human.

The few times aroace characters do get any spotlight, their identity is treated as a problem. They're the character who "just hasn't found the right person yet." They're the character who gets "fixed" by the end of the story.

But that's not representation. That's erasure. I want to see aroace characters who are happy. Who are complete. Who have rich, fulfilling lives without needing a romantic partner.

Why This Matters

This is about the fact that aroace people are constantly erased, invalidated, and told that their way of experiencing the world is wrong. This is about the fact that we're excluded from LGBTQ+ spaces, dismissed by medical professionals, and ignored by society at large.

This is about the fact that we're told our friendships don't matter as much. That our lives aren't as fulfilling. That we're missing out on something fundamental.

But we're not missing out. We're just different. And different should be okay.

Final Words

At the end of the day, I'm done apologizing for who I am. I'm done pretending to be interested in romance just to make other people comfortable. I'm done justifying my identity to people who refuse to accept it.

I'm aroace. I don't experience romantic or sexual attraction. And that's not a flaw. That's not a phase. That's not something that needs to be fixed.

I'm living my life on my own terms, and I'm happy. I have friendships that matter. I have hobbies I'm passionate about. I have a life that's full and meaningful without needing a romantic partner to complete it.

And if society can't accept that, that's society's problem. Not mine.

Amatonormativity can go to hell. I'm aroace, and I'm done apologizing for it.

Fuck amatonormativity!