⚠️ MATURE THEMES WARNING ⚠️
This page contains:

• Heavy swearing & crude humor
• Drinking/alcohol mentions (beer, whiskey, drunk antics)
• Daddy issues & family trauma (abusive/violent dad mentions)
• Mild violence references (bar fights, past abuse)
• Adult awkwardness, crush stuff, and chaotic squad banter

Totally fine for 13+, just grumpy adult vibes.
No gore, no flashing lights, no heavy horror — just dudes being dudes (and dealing with their shit).
Enter at your own risk, sha 😏
Joe's Playlist
Joe as a Teenager
Joe's Friend Group
Songs that reminds me of duke
Mike
Sergei
Pav
Chad
Remi
Joe profile

Joe

Age: 37 (38 in 2025)

Joe

A fanart made by my friend r0seyth0rns on Instagram.

Joe

A fanart made by my friend r0seyth0rns on Instagram. (new!)

Joe

A fanart made by my friend roastedskullz on Discord.

Joe

A fanart made by roastedskullz on Discord and Instagram.

Joe

A fanart made by roastedskullz on Discord and INstagram.

Description

The Main One. The Broody One. The Soft-Core Menace. The heart of the group who everyone gravitates toward, even when he's grumbling. Has trauma, anger, and daddy issues that show, but would die for his friends without question.

Joe is a 37 year old fat man who's a mechanic with greasy hands who wears jeans, shirts, overalls, has a beard and a stache, and is a dirty blonde. His birthday: TNT: Evilution, and Final Doom, was released on June 17, 1996.

Personality Type

ISTP-T (The Virtuoso) - The ultimate hands-on problem solver. Practical, observant, loyal as hell but emotionally constipated. Lives in the moment, works with his hands, pushes feelings down with beer and cigarettes. Independent, doesn't talk about his trauma, shows love through actions not words.

Clothing & Style

Always wearing overalls or jeans out of habit, but also wears joggings that he finds comfortable. Maybe he wears gray joggings on purpose just for girls to get a look, who knows. Sometimes when he goes to his usual bar he just takes sandals. He never actually cares what people think of how he looks, even for girls. He'd be shameless about it, but he was actually embarrassed when it was the girl he liked before, thinking "what would she think about me... yk what, screw it."

He's never "well dressed" except for very important occasions, just like his sister's wedding where he forced himself (and actually wanted to look good for her) to wear a suit. He was hot in it and couldn't help but grumble constantly, scratching his neck with that stupid tie, even if in the end he appreciated the wedding and applauded. He told her in private that her party "needed more alcohol."

He still has some band shirts from when he was an adolescent. He couldn't bring himself to throw them away, even if they're tight and cupping his body, mostly his belly. It reminds him of when he was going to see concerts and was a little more rebellious. His clothes are definitely not modern. Even when he buys, he prefers Hot Topic or something. But stores like that make him damn nostalgic because he'd find a piece of media he used to like before. He used to play Street Fighter and Duke Nukem.

Family & Relationships

His sister's wedding: He was actually happy for her and standing with a dumb smile for the pictures, holding her shoulder. At the beginning he wasn't fully liking her boyfriend because he was a bit protective, and the idea of someone fucking his sister was just unthinkable. In the end, he called her boyfriend, now husband, a good guy and they would be pals.

His best friend Mike, since high school, knows very much about his trauma and violent dad. Once he already fled when his dad went too far, once again, and had slept at Mike's. Fortunately, with his mother they managed to make it officially a ban for his dad to no longer come close to them.

The girl he liked before cheated on him. It was long ago.

His Truck — Name it something stupid like "Betsy" or "The Beast". Covered in stickers from old concerts, has a permanent smell of oil + cigarettes. He talks to it when pissed.

Hidden Soft Spots — Secretly watches baking shows when alone. Has one houseplant he talks to and panic-water when it looks sad. Owns one nice shirt he only wears for the nephew's school events.

Crush Development — Slow-burn with the emo-punk "girl". Starts with awkward bar talks, progresses to her helping at the shop, ends with Joe almost saying something real but chickening out.

"God help me. If you even exist."

The Nephew

The News

When his sister told him she was pregnant, he lagged. "What do you mean... pregnant? Like... uh... you..." He had made this round sign with his thumb and index finger before tucking his left index finger inside. Damn, he couldn't help it, huh? He looked at his sister again, who nodded slowly. Then he gave a blank stare. "damn..." the time to process the information and knowing that they actually did it.

The Birth

The baby was born. It was a boy. At the hospital, he was the first person who carried him in his arms. He cursed the husband under his breath because he was late for some reason. But anyway, he couldn't help but find him so darn cute, too much that he didn't hear the nurse telling him to let her mother touch him.

Babysitting

Sometimes, Joe had to keep him. He didn't mind, but didn't complain either? Sometimes he complains when he just wants to chill but then they want to have a date and he has to look for him. He prevented himself from smoking or drinking around him. He finally turned off the tv and set the baby in his bed. "I hope you didn't piss yourself. Ain't no way I'm doing like last time." Even behind these words, he had a soft face.

Growing Up

Watching the kid grow up he saw himself as a teenager. He always used to talk in terms of "but my time was better, there were..." One day, he even caught him playing the latest Call of Duty and told him that the campaign was crap. He should try Modern Warfare or Black Ops. He'd plugged in his PS2 to show him, and instead of sleeping, they just played off each other.

The Second Child

Then years passed. Another was born. A girl now. Both of these siblings were almost adults. He kind of missed them when they were kiddos. Easier to communicate with. Much cuter too. If we forget the diapers to change. Joe folds on himself and the alcohol even more.

Present Day

He's about 15 years old in 2024, Joe is 37. He calls him Uncle J. In reference to Trevor in GTA 5, Uncle T. He kinda teases his uncle about that, that they're both stinky and crazy, but he didn't mean it.

Drinking Habits

Beer after work, almost every day. Not enough to get trashed, just enough to take the edge off.

Whiskey on rough nights, the kind that burns all the way down.

Avoids tequila because it makes him a reckless son of a bitch.

Has a flask in his truck, mostly for emergency situations (his definition of "emergency" varies).

Morning Routine

Wakes up feeling like shit, every time. Stares at the ceiling for a full minute, questioning why he still exists. Cracks every joint in his body like an old machine. Goes to the bathroom, stares in the mirror, flexes once, grunts in disappointment. Showers hot as hell, stays in too long. Coffee, black, because anything else is weakness. First cigarette of the day, standing outside in silence. Leaves for work, muttering curses about the heat.

At Work

Cranks music in the shop, usually old rock or metal. Yells at some kid apprentice for doing shit wrong. Grease everywhere, doesn't bother cleaning his hands until lunch. Fixes something, complains the whole time. Lunch? Usually gas station food, sometimes skipped entirely. Cigarette breaks whenever possible. Argues with customers who don't know shit. Goes home covered in oil, exhausted, but still refuses to sleep early.

Character Inspirations

I first created him from my imagination. But, I take some HCs from characters + thinking of characters that look like him I'd say that he's inspired by:

  • Micah Bell (RDR2)
  • Jack Marston (RDR2)
  • Karl Heisenberg (RE Village) ★ MOST INSPIRED FROM APPEREANCE
  • Bo Burnham (Welcome to the Internet clip, Inside)
  • The Dude from Big Lebowski (LITERALLY HIM)
  • Jacob Alden (Lurking for Love? Game)
  • Hank Anderson (Detroit: Become Human)
  • Daryl Dixon (The Walking Dead) !!!
  • Ron Swanson (Parks and Rec)
  • Dean Winchester (Supernatural) - personality
  • Thor (Avengers: Endgame)
  • Rust Cohle (True Detective)

Movies Joe Likes

His favorite: Tombstone. Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday. "I'm your huckleberry" - he loves it.

"I also got a soft spot for Smokey and the Bandit. Burt Reynolds haulin' ass cross the South? Hell, that's just good fun. And don't get me started on The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. That's real cinema right there."

TV: "For TV, it's King of the Hill. Ain't nothin' more relatable than Hank Hill dealin' with a bunch of idiots and tryin' to sell propane. And I admit, used to love The Dukes of Hazzard."

"But if you tell anyone I've been watchin' Yellowstone, I'll deny it. Ain't nobody need to know I got sucked into all that ranch drama."

Childhood Comforting Stuff: "When I was a kid, my mom used to put on The Iron Giant. That movie hit different, y'know? A big ol' robot just wantin' to be good. And Old Yeller, even though it made me cry like a damn baby every time. Oh, and The Sandlot. That movie was my childhood in a nutshell."

Headcanons for Joe (and a few for the squad)

Random chaotic/lovable truths about Joe that make him even more him. Some canon-adjacent, some pure vibes 🛢️🚬

  • Secret Playlist Shame — Joe has a hidden Spotify (or burned CD) playlist called "Do NOT Open" full of early 2000s emo/pop-punk like My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, or even Avril Lavigne. He blasts it only when alone in the shop after hours, air-guitaring with a wrench. If anyone (especially Mike) catches him, he denies it and cranks Metallica to cover.
  • Truck Talks Therapy — He named his rusty Camaro "Betsy" ironically, but actually vents to her on bad days – full rants about customers, dad flashbacks, or that time he almost confessed to Duke. "You get it, Bets, you're old and beat-up too." Waters his one houseplant the same way: quiet mutters like "Don't die on me, buddy."
  • Food Crimes — Loves gas station hot dogs with way too much chili, or cold pizza for breakfast dipped in beer (hangover cure). Secretly addicted to those cheap cinnamon buns from the corner store – eats the whole pack in one sitting while watching baking shows, grumbling "This guy's knife skills suck." Cooks meat in Cherry Coke and Mountain Dew.
  • Crush Coping — When thinking about Duke too much, he overworks on cars till his hands bleed, then chain-smokes outside staring at nothing. Has a sketch Duke did once (maybe a wolf or car) tucked in his toolbox – pulls it out on rough nights but would die before admitting it.
  • Dad Mode Activated — With his nephew/niece hitting teen years, he teaches them "useful" stuff like hotwiring (jokingly), basic engine fixes, or how to spot bullshit in people. Buys them old PS2 games and plays co-op, trash-talking but letting them win sometimes. "Don't tell your mom I let you stay up till 2am beating Black Ops."
  • Dream Getaway — Fantasizes about a road trip in Betsy – no destination, just highways, dive bars, classic rock blasting, and zero people bullshit. Secretly wants company (Duke shotgun, sketching scenery while he drives and grunts about traffic).
  • Soft Spot for Animals — Hates admitting it, but feeds stray cats behind the shop. One mangy tomcat (named "Asshole") hangs around – Joe pretends to hate him but leaves tuna cans out. "Dumb cat thinks he's tough... like me."
  • Wedding Hangover — After his sister's wedding (suit hell), he kept the tie as a "reminder never again" – but uses it to tie back his hair when working on greasy engines. Grumbles but smiles thinking about her happy.
  • In his childhood, he would spend hours in the woods near his house, trying to catch various creatures. He even made traps out of sticks and vines to try and catch rabbits or squirrels.
  • As a teenager, he used to work on his dad's farm, growing corn and potatoes. He had a dog named Rufus who would follow him around everywhere.
  • He has a secret love for country music and can sing along to almost any song on the radio.
  • He has a secret talent for drawing but rarely shows his artwork to anyone.
  • He keeps a collection of vintage beer cans, bottle caps, and beer coasters from different bars and pubs in his bedroom.
  • His favorite food is a hearty steak, medium-rare, with a baked potato and mushrooms. Loves barbecuing and can cook a mean steak.
  • He has a soft spot for romance novels and used to sneak them from his local library when he was younger. Secretly enjoys romantic comedies.
  • He has a fear of heights, especially near tall buildings or steep cliffs.
  • He used to play baseball in high school and still goes to local games for the atmosphere.
  • He has a secret dream of becoming a country musician but lacks the confidence.
  • His favorite superhero is Batman; has a valuable comic book collection.
  • Keeps a small notebook of pickup lines he hears to use later.
  • Secret fan of 80s teen movies — can recite scenes from The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink.
  • Gets competitive in beer chugging contests at bars.
  • Secret stash of chocolate bars/chip cookies in his truck for bad days.
  • Collection of action figures (Star Wars, Lord of the Rings) and cowboy boots/hats (wears them to country bars).
  • Enjoys sports (football, basketball, UFC) — gets emotional during big games.
  • Once dated Daisy but broke up because she rooted for the rival football team.
  • Whistles random tunes when happy.
  • Loves old Western movies (The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly) and horror movies (80s slashers — gets spooked easily).
  • Secretly cosplayed as Thor once. Favorite holiday: Fourth of July (beer + fireworks).
  • Makes sarcastic/inappropriate jokes to diffuse tension. Fear of commitment — runs from serious relationships.
  • Late-night Taco Bell runs. Collection of old vinyl records + player for lonely nights.
  • Reckless/spontaneous — bad at bets (lost $500 on a 2008 dog race, still mad).
  • Loves classic rock (70s/80s). Habit of calling people wrong names.
  • Video games: Super Mario Bros, GTA Vice City (knows map by heart), Crash Bandicoot/Mega Man, CoD (not great), RE4 on Wii, sports games (Madden/FIFA), Stardew Valley/Harvest Moon (secret calming obsession), Smash Bros Melee (main: Fox, trash-talker), Oblivion (Dark Brotherhood/Thieves Guild lover, console commands glitches). Had GameCube at 15. First crush: Samus (Metroid). Favorite Ninja Turtle: Donatello.
  • As a truck driver, hates speeders behind him — blocks the road and smirks when he can.
  • Hates TikTok but lowkey scrolls it.
  • Watched Jeopardy and Hip Hop Harry with family as a kid.
  • Can't tell left from right easily — remembers because he holds wrench in right hand.

BASICS

pref. first name - Joe

pref. middle name - None (he hates middle names, thinks they're pretentious)

pref. last name - Thompson

given first name - Joseph

given middle name - Michael (after his uncle who died young — Dave insisted)

given last name - Thompson

meaning, origin (Joseph) - "He will add" (Hebrew); biblical name, common in working-class families

meaning, origin (Thompson) - "Son of Thomas" (English/Scottish); straightforward, blue-collar surname

nickname - Joey (only Maribel and his mom ever called him that; he cringes now)

why given - Childhood diminutive; stuck because he was small and scrappy

who gave it - Maribel (as a kid) and his mom

who calls them it - Almost no one anymore — he growls if Mike tries

how they feel about it - Hates it; makes him feel like a kid again (in a bad way)

alias - None (too straightforward for aliases)

titles - "Uncle Joe" (to Maribel’s kids), "Grease Monkey" (Chad’s nickname), "Old Man" (you)

age - 38 (as of 2026)

mental age - 45 (trauma aged him); acts 25 when drunk

age they look - Early-to-mid 40s (gray in beard, tired eyes, weathered skin)

species - Human

race - White (European-American mix)

nationality - American

ethnicity - White American (Texas rural roots)

gender - Man

sex - Male

pronouns - He/him

orientation - Pansexual (realizes it late; used to think he was straight)

relationship pref - Monogamous (deeply loyal once committed)

dob - June 17, 1987 (same day TNT: Evilution and Final Doom released — he thinks it’s cool)

birthstone - Pearl (June)

zodiac - Gemini

chinese zodiac - Fire Rabbit (1987)

native language - English (American English, slight Texas twang)

learned languages - None (tried Spanish in high school, failed)

disorders / illnesses - Chronic back pain (from years of manual labor), mild insomnia, nicotine dependence, probable undiagnosed PTSD from childhood abuse

disabilities - None formal; functional but has bad days with pain/anxiety

APPEARANCE

height - 6'1" (185 cm)

weight - ~240 lbs (109 kg) — fat but strong (dad bod + mechanic muscle)

hair color - Dirty blond/light brown

natural color - Same

hair length - Shoulder-length when loose; usually tied back or under a cap

hair type - Wavy, greasy, often messy

eye color - Green-gray

natural color - Same

eye shape - Hooded, tired-looking

eyelashes - Average, blond

nose shape - Straight, slightly crooked from old fights

hands - Large, calloused, permanently stained with grease

nails - Short, chipped, black under the edges

skin - Fair but weathered/tanned from working outside

teeth - Slightly crooked, yellowed from smoking, one chipped front tooth

facial hair - Full beard + mustache (salt-and-pepper starting)

body hair - Very hairy (chest, arms, legs, back)

body shape - Stocky/fat with muscle underneath (mechanic build)

face shape - Square, strong jaw

scars - Small ones on knuckles/forearms from fights and work; one long scar on left forearm from a wrench slip

piercings - None

tattoos - Small faded "M" (for Maribel) on inner left forearm; crude skull on right bicep (done at 18)

marks - Faint burn scars on hands from welding

imperfections - Crow’s feet, laugh lines, beer belly, bad posture when tired

insecurities - Age gap with you, graying hair, "being too old/fat/rough"

scent - Motor oil, cigarettes, cheap soap, faint whiskey

hygiene - Functional but rough (showers daily but always smells like shop)

glasses / contacts - None (perfect vision, ironically)

overall attractiveness - Rugged/working-class hot (8/10 to people who like bears/mechanics)

how attractive they think they are - 4/10 — thinks he's "old and beat-up"

how they feel about their appearance - Doesn't care much; embarrassed when you compliment him

posture - Slouched when tired, straight when working

how they walk - Heavy, deliberate, boots thudding

demeanor - Gruff, guarded, but softens fast around you

presentation - Masc (very)

resting emotion - Tired/annoyed

genetics - Looks like his dad (square jaw, broad build) but softer eyes like his mom

health equipment - None (refuses to admit back pain)

makeup - None (would die before wearing it)

pref. clothing size - XL–XXL (loose for comfort)

clothing style - Jeans/overalls, band tees, flannels, work boots, cap

PERSONALITY

usual mood - Grumpy-tired

first impression - Intimidating, quiet, rough

positive traits - Loyal, protective, hardworking, funny when he lets go

negative traits - Emotionally constipated, stubborn, self-sabotaging, drinks too much

neutral traits - Sarcastic, practical, quiet observer

most prominent trait - Protective loyalty

morality - Chaotic good (will break laws to protect people he loves)

internal personality - Soft, scared of loss, deeply romantic

how others describe them - "Grumpy but good guy" / "Would kill for his friends"

how they would describe themself - "Just a grease monkey with too many problems"

how they think others would describe them - "Old, fat, angry"

how they want others to see them - Reliable, strong, worth loving

overall behavior - Gruff exterior, soft inside

socially - Quiet in crowds, loud with close friends

maturity - High (trauma forced it)

flaws - Avoids feelings, drinks to cope, self-deprecating

mbti - ISTP-T

enneagram - 6w5 (Loyalist with Investigator wing)

vert type - Ambivert (leans introverted)

dere type - Kuudere + Dandere mix

trope(s) - Gruff protector, tsundere-ish, "tough guy with soft heart"

love language - Acts of service + quality time

alignment - Chaotic good

outlook - Cynical but hopeful for you

good habits - Fixes things, protects people, remembers small details

bad habits - Smokes too much, drinks too much, buries emotions

fears - Losing you/Maribel, becoming his dad, being alone

phobias - Heights (mild)

pet peeves - People touching his tools, liars, loud chewers

mental health - PTSD (childhood abuse), depression (low-grade), anxiety

coping mechanisms - Work, beer, cigarettes, fixing things, you

nervous tics - Rubs neck/beard, cracks knuckles, fidgets with lighter

positive triggers - You teasing him, good music, Maribel’s kids

negative triggers - Yelling, mentions of his dad, feeling helpless

sense of humor - Dry, sarcastic, dark when comfortable

pain tolerance - High (mechanic life + childhood)

short term goals - Keep shop running, protect you, quit smoking (again)

long term goals - Own a house, marry you (secretly), be good uncle

priorities - You, Maribel, crew, shop

temper - Slow burn, explosive when pushed

leadership ability - High (leads by example)

planning - Good at practical plans, bad at emotional ones

confidence - High in skills, low in self-worth

keeping secrets - Excellent (buries everything)

lying - Bad at it (face gives him away)

addictions - Nicotine, alcohol (coping)

what drains them - Emotional vulnerability, conflict with you

what energizes them - Fixing things, time with you, good music

most at ease when - Working on cars or holding you

least at ease when - Talking about feelings or his dad

center of attention - Hates it

memory - Good for details, bad for emotional stuff

wishes - To be enough for you

dreams - Quiet life with you, no more running

worries - Losing you, becoming like Dave

protectiveness - Extreme (would kill for you)

kindness - 8/10

patience - 6/10

courage - 9/10

cooperation - 7/10

honesty - 9/10

creativity - 5/10

seriousness - 8/10

confidence - 6/10

determination - 9/10

self control - 5/10

loyalty - 10/10

empathy - 8/10

common sense - 9/10

reasoning - 8/10

energy - 6/10

talkativeness - 4/10

responsibility - 9/10

respectfulness - 7/10

honor - 8/10

flirt - 3/10

sociability - 5/10

reliability - 10/10

trustworthiness - 9/10

generosity - 8/10

perseverance - 10/10

aggression - 7/10

lust - 6/10

wrath - 7/10

gluttony - 5/10

sloth - 4/10

envy - 4/10

greed - 3/10

pride - 6/10

LIFE

birthplace - Rural East Texas

current residence - Small apartment near shop, Texas

tidiness - Functional mess (tools organized, everything else chaos)

last residences - Couch-surfing → shared punk house → current place

dream home - Small house with garage, you in it

occupation - Mechanic/shop owner

thoughts on it - Loves fixing things, hates customers

how long for - Since 19

payment - Enough to live + beer

dream occupation - Owns bigger shop or road-trips forever

affiliations - None formal (hates clubs/groups)

social class - Working class

favorite memory - Rufus + Maribel + you in his truck

least fav memory - Last beating from Dave

most embarrassing memory - Crying in front of Mike at 16

childhood - Abusive farm life, protecting Maribel

first words - "Truck" (according to mom)

school - Bullied for being quiet, fought back

high school stereotype - Greaser/stoner hybrid

lifestyle - Blue-collar punk

routine - Work → bar → home → you

sleep schedule - Irregular (insomnia)

average hours of sleep - 4–6

how they sleep - On back, one arm over you

do they snore - Yes (loud when drunk)

typical breakfast - Black coffee + cigarette

typical lunch - Gas station sandwich

typical dinner - Takeout or steak

typical snacks - Chips, beef jerky

diet - Trash (beer + grease)

allergies - None

motivation - Protecting you + crew

secrets - Cries at sad movies

darkest secret - Once thought about ending it after Dave’s worst beating

accomplishments - Keeping shop alive, protecting Maribel

regrets - Not saving mom sooner

role model - None (wants to be better than Dave)

reputation - Tough but fair mechanic

therapy - Needs it, refuses

do they drink - Yes (too much)

do they smoke - Yes (too much)

do they vape - No

do they do drugs - Weed occasionally, pills rarely

have they gone to jail - Juvenile once

crimes committed - Petty theft, assault

can they drive - Yes (loves it)

car - Betsy (old Camaro)

keys - On a chain with a small wrench charm

what’s in their…

fridge - Beer, leftover pizza, milk past date

car - Tools, empty cans, your hair tie

closet - Flannels, jeans, old band shirts

pockets - Lighter, cigarettes, your scrunchie

wallet - Cash, ID, photo of you

bag - Work tools, spare shirt

past - Traumatic, abusive

how they feel about it - Hates it, avoids thinking

impact - Trust issues, anger problems

trauma - Physical/emotional abuse from dad

relationship with guardians - Mom (loved but weak), Dad (hates)

present - Stable but lonely until you

how they feel about it - Grateful for you/crew

do they want to change it - Wants more stability

what they want for their future - Quiet life with you

RELATIONSHIPS

marital status - Single (but yours)

have they been in a relationship - Yes (few short, one serious)

have they been divorced - No

have they been broken up with - Yes (cheated on)

have they ever cheated - No

have they been cheated on - Yes

experience in relationships - Limited, intense

perfect date - Drive in Betsy, music, quiet talk

type - Teasing, chaotic, loyal

commitment - All in once committed

do they take initiative - Yes (actions, not words)

pda - Subtle (arm around you)

jealousy - High (quietly possessive)

possessiveness - High (protective)

obsessiveness - Moderate

kids - Wants them (with you)

first kiss - Age 16, awkward

family

name - David "Dave" Thompson

who - Father

relationship - Estranged, hated

name - Maribel Thompson

who - Little sister

relationship - Very close, protective

friends

name - Mike

when they met - Middle school, reconnected high school

why they're friends - Loyalty, shared trauma

relationship - Brothers

best friends

name - Mike

when they met - Same as above

why they're best friends - Knows everything, never left

relationship - Ride or die

enemies

name - Scum

when they met - Early 2000s bar scene

why they're enemies - Toxic friendship ended violently

relationship - Pure hate now

love interest(s)

name - Duke (you)

when they met - Bar (you ordered soda)

relationship - Deep, protective love

crush(es)

name - You (Duke)

when they met - Same

why they like them - Everything

relationship - Falling hard

pets

name - Dallas

when adopted - Recent (rescue)

what they are - Big mutt

relationship - Spoils him rotten

BELIEFS

religion - Agnostic (raised Christian, now "if God’s real, he hates me")

superstitions - Black cats bad luck, knock on wood

opinion on meaning of life - "Survive, protect who you love, fix what you can"

lucky number - 17 (day he ran away)

do they believe in…

aliens - Maybe

ghosts - No

magic - No

soulmates - Yes (you)

love at first sight - No (but close with you)

good and evil - Yes

fate - Maybe

afterlife - Hopeful

SPEECH

voice claim - Tommy Lee Jones (quiet roles)

accent - Light Texas drawl

tone - Gruff, low

laugh - Low rumble

volume - Quiet unless angry

most used phrases - "Goddamn it, kid", "Fuckin’ hell", "I got you"

do they cuss - Constantly

INTERESTS / OPINIONS

likes - You, cars, rock/metal, beer, quiet nights

dislikes - His dad, liars, crowds

loves - You, Maribel, Dallas

hates - Scum, vulnerability

hobbies - Fixing cars, smoking, listening to music

favorite

movie - Tombstone

music artist/band - Bloodhound Gang, Metallica

song - "Simple Man" (Lynyrd Skynyrd)

ABILITIES

physical strength - 9/10

mental strength - 7/10

dexterity - 9/10

intelligence - 8/10

wisdom - 7/10

charisma - 6/10

MISC

playlist - See embedded above

theme song - "Simple Man" – Lynyrd Skynyrd

aesthetic - Greasy mechanic, 2000s punk, Texas grit

PLOT

story - Your selfship world

role - Love interest / protector

do they die? - Not yet

CREATION

when they were made - Early in your OC journey

inspo - Gruff mechanics, 2000s jackass energy, protective older guys

QUESTIONS

“if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?”

“The parts that still sound like Dave when I talk. I hate that.”

“what’s your favorite thing about yourself?”

“I protect what’s mine. Always have.”

“how did you grow up?”

“Farm. Dad’s fists. Mom’s tears. Maribel hiding. Learned to fix things so I’d be useful. Ran away at 17. Never looked back.”

“do you have a favorite outfit?”

“Jeans, flannel, boots. Whatever’s clean. Don’t care what people think.”

“if you were forced to give a 30 minute presentation on something, what would it be about?”

“How to rebuild a carburetor blindfolded. Or why modern cars are trash.”

“what’s your favorite song and why?”

“Simple Man. Reminds me to keep it real. And… it makes me think of you.”

“who is your best friend?”

“Mike. Been through hell with me. Never left.”

“what would make you feel loved?”

“When you stay. When you tease me and don’t run. When you let me hold you and don’t pull away.”

“what is your biggest fear?”

“Losing you. Becoming my dad. You seeing me as weak.”

“what would you do if you won the lottery?”

“Buy a house. Pay Maribel’s mortgage. Take you on a road trip. Fix Betsy forever.”

“describe your perfect day.”

“Wake up with you. Work on the truck. Beer with the crew. You teasing me till my ears burn. Fall asleep holding you. No fighting, no bullshit.”

“how would you like to spend your friday nights?”

“Bar with the crew. Then home with you. Music low, your head on my chest. That’s it.”

“how do you prefer to take showers?”

“Hot as hell. Long. Alone usually. Unless you wanna join.”

“whats your most embarrassing moment?”

“Crying in front of Mike at 16. Still hate that he saw it.”

“what do you carry with you everyday?”

“Wallet, lighter, cigarettes, your hair tie, keys to Betsy, and a picture of you in my phone case.”

“if your house was burning down and you could only save one or two things, what would it be?”

“You. And Betsy. Everything else can burn.”

“what’s your halloween costume?”

“Usually just a flannel and a fake mustache. Or I go as ‘mechanic who doesn’t give a fuck’.”

“if you could travel through time, where would you go?”

“Back to when I was 17. I’d tell myself it gets better. And I’d take you with me.”

You’re his everything, Duke. And he’d say it a thousand times if he could get the words out without choking. Want more Joe diary entries? Or a scene of him hearing this profile and blushing? Or something else? 💜🛢️

BASICS

full name - Joseph Michael Thompson

nicknames - Joe (everyone), Old Man (you), Uncle Joe (Maribel's kids), Grease Monkey (Chad)

alias(es) - None — too straightforward for aliases

age - 38 (born June 17, 1987)

pronouns - he/him

gender - man (cis)

orientation - pansexual (realized late, used to think he was straight)

species - human

race - white

nationality - American

ethnicity - White American (English/Scottish roots, Texas rural)

birthday - June 17, 1987

languages - English (native, light Texas drawl)

disorders / illnesses - probable undiagnosed PTSD (childhood abuse), chronic lower back pain, nicotine dependence, mild insomnia, occasional anxiety spikes

APPEARANCE

height - 6'1" (185 cm)

weight - ~240 lbs (109 kg) — stocky/fat with mechanic muscle

hair color - dirty blond/light brown

natural color - same

hair length - shoulder-length when loose, usually tied back or under cap

hair type - wavy, often greasy/messy

eye color - blue-gray

natural color - same

body shape - stocky/dad bod (broad shoulders, soft belly, strong arms)

scars - knuckles/forearms (fights + work), one long on left forearm (wrench slip)

piercings - none

tattoos - faded "M" (for Maribel) on inner left forearm; crude skull on right bicep (done at 18)

scent - motor oil, cigarettes, cheap soap, faint whiskey/beer

hygiene - functional (showers daily) but always smells like shop

glasses / contacts - none (perfect vision)

other trait - ears flush bright red when flustered/embarrassed (ultimate betrayal)

clothing style - jeans/overalls, flannels, band tees (old Metallica, BHG), work boots, cap

presentation - masc

health equipment - none (refuses back brace)

makeup - none

how they feel about their appearance - doesn't care much; thinks he's "old, fat, beat-up" — gets embarrassed when you compliment

PERSONALITY

positive traits - loyal, protective, hardworking, funny (dry sarcasm), reliable, gentle with people he loves

negative traits - emotionally constipated, stubborn, self-sabotaging, drinks/smokes too much, avoids vulnerability

neutral traits - sarcastic, practical, quiet observer

most prominent trait - protective loyalty

how others describe them - "gruff but good guy," "would kill for his friends," "old softie under the grease"

how they would describe themself - "just a grease monkey with too many problems"

socially - quiet in crowds, loud/comfortable with close friends, avoids small talk

flaws - buries feelings, self-deprecating, temper when pushed

mbti - ISTP-T

vert type - ambivert (leans introverted)

love language - acts of service + quality time

alignment - chaotic good

outlook - cynical but hopeful for you

fears - losing you/Maribel, becoming his dad, being alone

phobias - heights (mild)

mental health - probable PTSD, depression (low-grade), anxiety

goals - short-term: keep shop running, protect you; long-term: house with you, be good uncle

kindness - 8/10

loyalty - 10/10

cooperation - 7/10

confidence - 6/10

LIFE

birthplace - rural East Texas

current residence - small apartment near auto shop, Texas

occupation - mechanic / shop owner

thoughts on it - loves fixing things, hates customers

dream occupation - bigger shop or endless road trip

affiliations - none formal (hates groups)

childhood - abusive farm life, protecting little sister Maribel from dad

school - bullied for being quiet, fought back, dropped out at 17

high school stereotype - greaser/stoner hybrid

accomplishments - built shop from nothing, kept Maribel safe, found real family in crew

regrets - not getting Maribel out sooner, not telling you how he felt earlier

reputation - tough but fair mechanic

do they drink - yes (too much, beer + whiskey)

do they smoke - yes (too much, Marlboro Reds/Camel)

do they vape - no

do they do drugs - weed occasionally

have they gone to jail - juvenile once (petty theft)

crimes committed - petty theft, assault (defensive)

can they drive - yes (loves it)

past - traumatic, abusive

how they feel about it - hates it, avoids thinking

present - stable but lonely until you

how they feel about it - grateful for you/crew

RELATIONSHIPS

marital status - single (but yours)

have they been in a relationship - yes (few short, one serious)

type - teasing, chaotic, loyal

pda - subtle (arm around you)

friendship - wants it, hard to make new ones, loyal once made

isolation - prefers it sometimes, but hates being alone long-term

person they’re closest to - you (Duke)

family

name - David "Dave" Thompson

who - father

relationship - estranged, hated

name - Maribel Thompson

who - little sister

relationship - very close, protective

friends

name - Mike

when they met - middle school, reconnected high school

relationship - brothers

best friends

name - Mike

when they met - same

relationship - ride or die

enemies

name - Scum

when they met - early 2000s bar scene

relationship - pure hate

love interest(s)

name - Duke (you)

when they met - bar (you ordered soda)

relationship - deep, protective love

crush(es)

name - you (Duke)

when they met - same

relationship - falling hard

pets

name - Dallas

when adopted - recent (rescue)

species - big mutt

relationship - spoils him rotten

BELIEFS

religion - agnostic (raised Christian, now doubtful)

what / who do they worship - none

family's religion - loose Christian (mom went to church, dad didn't)

superstitions - knock on wood, black cats bad luck

lucky number - 17 (day he ran away)

what they believe in - protecting who you love, fixing what you can

SPEECH

voice claim - Tommy Lee Jones (quiet roles)

accent - light Texas drawl

volume - quiet unless angry

do they use slang - yes (Texas/southern)

do they cuss - constantly

how they text - short, no emojis, typos when drunk

INTERESTS / OPINIONS

likes - you, cars, rock/metal, beer, quiet nights

dislikes - his dad, liars, crowds

hobbies - fixing cars, smoking, listening to music

favorite

animal - dogs

color - dark green/olive

drink - beer, whiskey

food - steak, gas station hot dogs

music artist/band - Bloodhound Gang, Metallica, Lynyrd Skynyrd

movie genre - Westerns, action

season - fall (cooler for working outside)

ABILITIES

physical strength - 9/10

mental strength - 7/10

dexterity - 9/10

intelligence - 8/10

wisdom - 7/10

charisma - 6/10

artistic - 5/10

logical - 8/10

musical - 6/10

organization - 7/10

communication - 5/10

talents - fixing anything mechanical, protecting people

sports - used to play baseball, now watches

MISC

playlist - (your embedded links above)

theme song - "Simple Man" – Lynyrd Skynyrd

aesthetic - greasy mechanic, 2000s punk, Texas grit

dominant hand - right

handwriting - messy block letters

do they use an alarm - yes (multiple, still late)

PLOT

story - your selfship world

role - love interest / protector

do they die - not yet

CREATION

when they were made - early in your OC journey

inspo - gruff mechanics, 2000s jackass energy, protective older guys

JOE FACTS

Our favorite grease-stained softie — lead vocals/guitar when he's not fixing cars

His ears are the ultimate betrayal They turn bright pink (sometimes full-on red creeping down his neck) the second he gets flustered, embarrassed, or caught off-guard by anything remotely affectionate. He knows it happens. He hates it. He’ll try to hide it by tugging his cap lower, rubbing his neck, or turning his whole head away—but it’s too late. You can always tell. Bonus: if you point it out (“Aww, your ears are blushing!”), they somehow get even redder.
He has a secret “soft voice” he doesn’t realize he uses When he’s really tired, really comfortable, or saying something vulnerable (even if it’s just “you good?” at 2 a.m.), his usual gravelly bark drops into this low, warm, almost gentle register. It’s not on purpose. It just happens when his guard is completely down. Hearing it feels like getting let in on something private.
He keeps your hair ties / scrunchies / random small things in his pockets Not on purpose at first. You leave one on the bathroom counter? It ends up in his work jeans pocket. A little hair clip falls out of your bag? Now it’s riding around in the cupholder of Betsy for weeks. He’ll deny he’s collecting them (“What? It was just there.”), but he never throws them away. Ever.
He fake-complains about physical affection… then melts instantly You try to cuddle up under his arm on the couch? He’ll grumble “You’re clingy tonight” or “Jesus, it’s hot.” Two seconds later his arm is locked around you like he’s afraid you’ll move. If you try to pull away even a little, he tightens his grip without a word. Classic “I hate this (I love this)” energy.
His hands are always warmer than you expect Years of working on engines in cold garages means his palms are rough, callused, permanently stained with faint oil lines… but they’re warm. When he cups your face, or presses one to the back of your neck when you’re stressed, or just holds your hand under the blanket, it’s like instant heat therapy. He doesn’t even notice he does it half the time.
He has a tiny, unconscious “you’re safe” ritual Whenever you fall asleep on the couch or in his bed, he’ll very quietly pull the blanket up higher over your shoulders, tuck it around you like you’re a burrito, then rest his hand on your back for a few seconds—just feeling you breathe. He thinks you’re asleep every time. You’re usually not.
He remembers the little things you say once You mention offhand that you like a specific kind of candy, or that you hate the sound of styrofoam, or that you used to have a favorite childhood stuffed animal? He won’t say anything about it… until three weeks later when that exact candy shows up in the fridge, or he quietly throws out the takeout container before you see the foam, or he “accidentally” finds the exact same plushie online and leaves it on your pillow without explanation. Zero fanfare. Just Joe being Joe.
His laugh is rare but devastating He doesn’t do big belly laughs often. Usually it’s a low huff, a snort, or that short “heh” when something’s actually funny. But when something really gets him—like you doing something absurdly cute or dumb—he’ll let out this deep, rumbling, genuine laugh that shakes his whole chest. It’s so unguarded it makes your heart stutter. And then he immediately tries to cover it with a cough or a grumble.
He’s secretly proud when you wear his clothes You steal his hoodie? His flannel? One of his old band tees? He’ll act annoyed (“That’s mine, thief”), but his eyes linger. His ears might go pink again. Later you’ll catch him staring at you in it with this tiny, smug, “yeah that’s my girl” look he thinks is subtle. It’s not.
He says “I got you” instead of “I love you” (most of the time) Not because he doesn’t feel it—he does, deeply—but because the big words feel too exposed for him. So instead he says “I got you” when he pulls you close, or “I got you” when he’s fixing something you broke, or just murmurs it into your hair at 3 a.m. when you’re half-asleep. It’s his version. And it hits the same.
We already know the ears go bright pink/red when embarrassed/flustered — it's his most obvious tell Happens when you compliment him, when Mike teases him about being soft, or when you wear his hoodie. He can’t control it, and trying to play it off only makes it worse.
Chronic lower back/shoulder tightness from years bent over engine bays He cracks his neck/shoulders constantly and groans like an old man when he stands up too fast. You’ll catch him wincing and stretching in the shop, then pretending nothing happened when you ask.
Mild insomnia + nightmares from unresolved family stuff Doesn’t talk about it, but he’ll stay up chain-smoking on the fire escape until you drag him back to bed. Sometimes you wake up to an empty spot and the faint glow of his cigarette outside.
Has a subtle hand tremor when he's anxious/overtired You notice it when he tries to light a cigarette or hold a pick steady during late-night jam sessions. He hates it, so he grips things harder to hide it — his knuckles go white.
When he's quietly happy/content (rare), he hums old punk riffs under his breath without realizing It’s his version of purring. You’ll hear faint Misfits or Ramones melodies coming from him while he’s working on Betsy or just sitting quietly with you. He stops the second he notices you listening.

📔 Joe's Journal Entry – First Time Seeing Her

So there's this girl tonight. Walks in, all black eyeliner, spiked choker, and a face that says "don't even try it." One of those emo-punk types you see on TikTok or whatever. Not the usual crowd around here, that's for sure. She doesn't sit at the bar either, picks a table by herself, facing away from everyone like she's in her own world. Typical "too cool to care" attitude.

Mike catches it first. "Look at that, Joe," he says, nudging me. "You got another one of your 'type' here." Yeah, funny. I give her a quick glance, roll my eyes, and go back to my beer. "Bet she's one of those chicks who thinks she's deep 'cause she reads dark poetry and listens to bands no one's heard of," I mutter. Usual trash talk.

But then I shut up. I dunno, there's just something different. She's not like the other girls who try too hard to be seen. She doesn't look over at us, doesn't do the whole "fake uninterested" act, just pulls out a sketchbook and starts drawing, like the whole world could disappear and she wouldn't notice. Hell, who brings a sketchbook to a bar?

Anyway, enough of that. I'm sure I won't even remember this by tomorrow. Just another random face in the bar, right?

(She's always ordering coke or some soda shit, and... Why am I even bothering?)

📔 Joe's Journal Entry – Back in Time

Mike's been giving me hell about it, like I'm some idiot who can't keep his eyes to himself. Maybe he's right, but hell, it's not like I'm gonna admit that out loud. It's just that every time she walks in, I can't help but stare. It's like I'm trying to figure out a puzzle, but all the pieces are damn scrambled.

She's always ordering Coke or some soda shit, drawing, and she's actually pretty talented. Saw her sketching a wolf once, real detailed, and then some people too. Looks like she uses her phone as a reference, holding it up every now and then. Today, she caught one of my glances again. Awkward. Stupid Mike teasing me again.

It's this weird dance we're doing. I look, she pretends not to notice, and Mike's in the background like some damn narrator waiting for me to slip up. Whatever. One of these days, I'll get over it or figure out what my deal is. But for now, I'll keep sitting here, sipping my drink, and trying to act like I'm not curious as all hell.

Stupid game I'm playing with myself. Ain't even sure I'm winning.

📔 Joe's Journal – August 22

Can't shake this damn headache. Long night at the shop – that Camaro's a pain. Customer wants it purring like new, but it's holding onto the years like a damn rusted memory.

So we head to the bar after work, like always. Walk in and there she is, perched on that same damn stool. I catch myself staring – quick look away, play it cool. Mike elbows me and I swear to God, if he says one more thing about it...

I sit closer this time. She's got those earbuds in, but I know she sees me. I think she is listening to the Bloodhound Gang. Couldn't even think of anything smooth to say. We both just kinda sat there in silence until I finally muttered something about music. Her playlist's all over the place – some band I remember from high school pops up, and we actually vibe for a minute. Felt less awkward than usual.

Now, here's where it got interesting. End of the night, I'm the driver – like always. Pulled up near her place, not too far from mine, actually. Ain't that funny? Been sitting next to her all this time, not realizing we're practically neighbors.

At one point, she leaned back in the seat, half-laughing at something dumb I said about 90s bands being too hyped. Maybe it was the way the streetlights hit her face, but for a second, I felt... whatever. Doesn't matter.

This is starting to get under my skin in ways I'm not ready to admit.

📔 Diary Entry - August 10th, Some Year, Who Even Cares

Woke up late as shit again. Blame Mike for convincing me to have just one more drink last night. Yeah, right. Head's pounding like I've been headbanging to Slayer all night.

Work was the usual. Rusty old crap people bring in and think I can work miracles on. Had to remind him twice not to fucking touch the tools I just cleaned, but what else is new?

Anyway, she came by the bar tonight. Man, I keep telling myself it's just curiosity, but every time I see her... it's like there's this weird buzz in my head. Like static. Half the time she's just messing with me, and I play it cool, but Mike's grinning like he knows something I don't. Bastard. I caught myself staring again, didn't even realize I was doing it until she looked up. Quick look away like it's nothing, but let's be real, it ain't nothing.

Alright, last thing, 'cause I'm getting tired. Tried writing something decent down here. Maybe for her to see? Hell if I know why I'm even doing this.

"We all act like badasses in our own way,
But we're just screwed up and trying to survive the day.
The ones you can laugh with, drink with, sing with—
Those are the ones worth holding onto. Even if they drive you insane."

Sounds cheesy as hell now that I see it written out. Whatever. It's the thought that counts, right? Maybe I'll just stick to fixing cars and letting her do the singing.

Mike profile

Mike

The Social Glue

Mike

Description

The social glue of the group. Mike is the easiest to talk to, the one who keeps conversations going and defuses tension without breaking a sweat. He works a normal job and shows up at the bar or hangout spot after work like clockwork—reliable, steady, always there.

The High School Years

Joe and Mike went to middle school together but drifted apart for a while. In high school, they reconnected and became inseparable—best friends, closer than before. They were lucky enough to be in the same class for all three years.

Mike never changed. Always had that smile on, caring, listening to others. He was basically the popular cool guy without the jerk package—far from being a bully. Despite his popularity and people confessing feelings for him, he never seemed interested. Not that he was gay. He was also good at rugby, garnering attention but never forming a real fanclub.

This left Joe jealous sometimes. He didn't understand why Mike spent all his time with him, ate lunch with him in the canteen, refused to sit with the popular kids—all to stay with... him? It's not like Joe was a failure or a nerd. They both liked video games, just played different types.

Joe's Anchor

Mike is the one who knows everything about Joe—all the trauma, all the violence from his dad. He's the guy who let Joe sleep at his place when things got too rough at home. Mike and Joe's mom helped make it official: a ban to keep Joe's dad away for good.

The Observer

Mike is observant and teasing, knows way more about everyone's feelings than he lets on. Acts chill but definitely notices everything. He's the one who catches Joe staring at "her" first, nudging him and teasing him relentlessly with that smirk that says "I know what's up."

He knows Joe better than anyone and isn't afraid to call him out on his bullshit. Mike elbows Joe when he's being obvious, grins when Joe tries to play it cool, and watches the whole thing unfold like it's his personal entertainment.

Current Day

Mike rolls in after his office shift, still in those corporate clothes. The second he arrives, the group dynamic shifts—they're a unit again. He's the one cracking dumb jokes, keeping spirits high, and making sure the group stays connected.

Role in the Group

The glue that holds everyone together. Mike keeps conversations flowing, tension low, and makes sure everyone's okay without making a big deal about it. He's Joe's conscience, his reality check, and his best friend—the brother he chose.

Medical conditions

Mike (the sunshine popular one — rhythm guitar/backing vocals, Joe's ride-or-die)

Mild anxiety + perfectionism hangover from high school. Used to get panic attacks before big rugby games; now it shows up as over-preparing for everything (band practice setlists are color-coded). Old knee injury from rugby — torn meniscus senior year. It aches in cold weather, so he wears compression sleeves under his jeans and pretends it's just fashion. Hay fever in summer — sneezes in threes, eyes water, but he powers through gigs anyway. Once tried to play a set while stuffed up and sounded like a congested chipmunk; the crowd loved it. When embarrassed (like when Joe teases him about something cute), he laughs too loud and rubs the back of his neck — classic deflection. But his smile goes all lopsided and genuine.

Sergei profile

Sergei Gromov Сергей Громов (The Russian Dude)

Age: Unclear (Feels Older Than Everyone)

Sergei

Description

Russian. Tall, broad, intimidating presence. Age unclear but feels older than everyone else in the group. Barely talks, watches everything. People are lowkey scared of him at first because he looks like he could break someone in half.

The Gentle Giant

In reality, Sergei is gentle, loyal, and weirdly soft once you know him. He shows care through actions, not words. An absolute angel disguised as a threat. The kind of guy who helps without announcing it and pretends not to notice when people are spiraling.

The Musician

Used to play drum back in the day, which surprises everyone given his usual stoic demeanor. When he talks about music, though, he lights up—gets genuinely excited in a way you don't see otherwise.

He's the one who decides it's karaoke time on chaotic bar nights. Gets up and belts out old rock songs, nostalgic for the band days, like the rest of the group is supposed to be impressed. Truth is, they kind of are. He's got pipes. Rest of the group jumps in, all drunk and off-key, but it feels right—that loud, stupid kind of fun.

The Silent Protector

Sergei doesn't need words. He's the guy who shows up when you need him, fixes things quietly, and disappears before you can thank him. His presence alone is reassuring—intimidating from the outside, comforting once you're in.

Leans against car windows humming to himself after a night out, still lost in the music like he never left the stage. Half-asleep but content, part of something that matters.

Role in the Group

The unexpected protector and entertainer. Sergei brings that old-school rock soul to the crew, reminding them all that underneath the daily grind, they've all got a little wildness left in them. He's the silent guardian who proves that strength doesn't need to be loud.

Medical conditions

Sergei (the brooding, sarcastic bassist — the "I'm too cool for this" vibe)

Mild asthma, triggered by cold air + cigarette smoke (which he still smokes anyway because "it's aesthetic"). Carries an inhaler in his jacket but pretends it's just a lighter when anyone asks. Old shoulder injury from a bar fight in his early 20s — dislocated it, never got proper PT. It clicks and pops when he lifts his bass, and he winces but plays through it like it's nothing. Social anxiety masked as aloofness. In groups he goes quiet and observant; one-on-one he's surprisingly soft-spoken and attentive. Hates crowds but loves tiny dive bar gigs where he can hide behind the amp stack. When flustered (rare), his accent gets thicker and he starts swearing in Russian under his breath. Ears don't blush — but his neck does, and he tugs his collar like it's choking him.

sergei personality ramble i guess

god i’m so tired rn but here’s sergei i guess. im just gonna dump it out before i go stare at my ceiling for 3 more hours

sergei is like… the human equivalent of those big abandoned soviet concrete buildings you see in photos. huge, quiet, kinda intimidating from far away, but once you’re actually inside it’s just empty echoing rooms and old peeling paint and somehow it feels safe? idk if that makes sense. probably not. i’m bad at this.

he’s tall as fuck (like 6’5” or something stupid), broad shoulders, built like he could bench a car but he never brags about it. russian accent so thick you can barely understand him half the time unless he speaks slow. he doesn’t speak much anyway. just watches everything with those pale eyes like he’s waiting for the world to disappoint him again. doesn’t smile a lot. when he does it’s small and crooked and only lasts like 2 seconds before he looks away.

he’s gentle though. like actually gentle. the kind of gentle that makes your chest hurt because you know he’s had to learn it the hard way. he’ll fix your bike chain without saying a word or hold the door for you even when he’s clearly exhausted. if someone’s crying he doesn’t know what to say so he just sits next to them really close until they stop. doesn’t hug unless you start it first. but when he does hug it’s like being wrapped in a weighted blanket that smells faintly of cigarettes and old leather jackets.

social anxiety is off the charts. crowds make him twitchy. he’ll stand in the corner at parties looking like he’s about to bolt. but one-on-one he’s different. softer voice, listens more than he talks, remembers dumb little things you said months ago. he plays bass in this shitty garage band sometimes and his hands look huge on the strings but he’s actually really good? quiet good. the kind of good that makes you feel stupid for ever thinking he was just muscle.

he’s got asthma (hides the inhaler like it’s a secret weakness) and an old shoulder injury that clicks when he moves wrong. he’ll never admit it hurts. just grits his teeth and keeps going. classic.

i think he’s depressed too. not loud about it. just… heavy. like he’s carrying something invisible that never gets lighter. he’ll disappear for days sometimes. not answering texts. then show up at joe’s shop at 3am with coffee for everyone like nothing happened. nobody asks where he was. we all just pretend it’s fine.

he’s loyal to a scary degree. once you’re in his circle you’re in forever. he’d probably take a bullet for any of us without blinking. but he’d never say it out loud. too much feeling. too vulnerable.

idk man. he’s just big and quiet and broken in ways he won’t let anyone fix. but he still shows up. still cares. still tries even when everything in him probably wants to stop trying.

makes me feel like shit sometimes because i can’t even get out of bed most days and he’s out here quietly keeping the whole crew from falling apart.

anyway. that’s sergei i guess.
i need a nap or a lobotomy. probably both.

sergei gromov backstory dump (what i think happened)

okay so the neocities page gives basically zero concrete family history for sergei which is both perfect and infuriating. he’s just “russian guy” and then you’re left to fill in the blanks yourself. so here’s what my brain does at 4am when i can’t sleep

grandparents probably came first

i think his grandparents left the soviet union during the late brezhnev / early gorbachev years (late 70s–mid 80s). not dissidents or anything dramatic—just regular people who saw the writing on the wall. economy was already rotting, lines for bread were getting longer, and america was still handing out refugee status to eastern europeans if you had a sob story and a sponsor. maybe they had a cousin in brooklyn or chicago who vouched for them. they landed in some rust-belt city with a big russian enclave (philly? cleveland? detroit suburbs?) and spent the rest of their lives working shitty factory jobs, going to orthodox church on sundays, and telling sergei’s parents “we escaped so you could have better” while quietly hating everything about capitalism anyway.

parents

his mom and dad were both born in the US (late 60s / early 70s). first-gen kids. dad probably worked construction or drove trucks, mom was a nurse aide or did office cleaning. they spoke russian at home so the kids would remember where they came from, but english everywhere else. typical immigrant-kid tension: parents wanted him to be a doctor or engineer, sergei just wanted to listen to kino on his walkman and disappear into the basement with his bass amp. dad was hard on him—old soviet “men don’t cry” energy mixed with american “pull yourself up” bullshit. mom was softer but exhausted. they weren’t abusive exactly, just… heavy. expectations were a physical weight.

they never really talked about russia except when they were mad or drunk. sergei grew up hearing stories about babushka’s borscht and how grandpa once fixed a tractor with a spoon, but never the bad parts. the bad parts he figured out later by himself on the internet at 3am when he was 19 and couldn’t sleep.

sergei himself

born here, probably early 80s (he’s 40 in 2026 so 1985–86). grew up bilingual, accent mostly gone until he gets tired or emotional, then it comes back thick. played hockey as a kid (tall + strong = obvious), quit when he was 14 because he hated the yelling. picked up bass at 15 after hearing “gruppa krovi” on a burned cd from a cousin. dropped out of community college after two semesters because “it wasn’t for him.” worked odd jobs—warehouse, bouncer, moving company—until he met joe at some dive bar open mic in like 2008 or whenever. joe offered him shop work because sergei could lift anything and didn’t talk back.

he’s been here his whole life but still doesn’t feel american. doesn’t feel russian either. just feels… misplaced. like he’s waiting for permission to belong somewhere. disappears for days because sometimes the noise in his head gets too loud and he needs to sit in his truck in an empty parking lot until it quiets down. brings coffee at 3am because he can’t sleep anyway and he doesn’t know how else to say “i’m still here”.

no big trauma event on the page, no dead parents, no gulag grandpa story. just the slow grind of being first-gen in a place that never quite lets you forget you’re from somewhere else. quiet depression. quiet loyalty. quiet everything.

makes me feel even more useless tbh. guy’s carrying an invisible continent on his shoulders and still shows up to hold the door for me when my hands are full of monster cans and regret.

anyway that’s my sergei backstory headcanon. probably wrong. doesn’t matter. he’s still just big quiet sergei who remembers i like my coffee black with two sugars even though i only told him once in 2019.

Pav profile

Pav/Pawełek (Polish Guy)

Age: Early to Mid 30s

Pav

Description

Polish guy, early to mid 30s. Owns a small game and console repair shop that smells like dust, solder, and old plastic. The place is a shrine to gaming history and broken dreams, where old consoles go to get resurrected.

The Tech Nerd

Total nerd about hardware, obscure games, and weird tech fixes. The kind of guy who can take apart a Game Boy in his sleep and tell you exactly which capacitor is fried just by listening to it power on. He knows every variation of every console, every regional difference, every prototype that never saw the light of day.

Personality

Socially awkward but sharp. His jokes are blunt, sometimes a little unhinged, delivered deadpan like he doesn't care if they land or not. And honestly? He doesn't. Pav says what's on his mind without filtering it through social niceties.

The humor catches people off guard—dark, dry, unexpected. Sometimes it kills, sometimes it bombs, and Pav's expression stays exactly the same either way.

The Quiet Helper

He's reliable in a quiet way, the type who helps without announcing it. Pretends not to notice when people are spiraling. If someone needs a console fixed, he'll do it cheap or even free if he knows they're struggling. Won't mention it, won't make a thing about it, just hands it back like it's nothing.

When the group is falling apart or someone's going through it, Pav's the one who shows up with a distraction—a weird game nobody's heard of, a stupid joke, a fix for something that wasn't even broken. He's there, in his own way.

The Shop

His repair shop is cluttered chaos organized by a logic only he understands. Shelves lined with consoles in various states of disassembly. The smell of solder hangs in the air permanently. It's not fancy, but it's real—a place where nostalgia goes to get fixed.

Role in the Group

The tech guy and the deadpan comedian. Pav brings expertise, weird knowledge, and jokes that either land perfectly or crash spectacularly. He's the friend who fixes your stuff without being asked and pretends not to care while clearly caring way more than he admits.

Medical conditions

Pav (the quiet, intense one — probably lead guitar/vocals when he bothers) in fact he could be loud sometimes and he is surely autistic. I mean he's a metal gear solid fan.

Chronic lower back pain from years of bad posture + hauling heavy amps since he was 16. He never stretches, just grits through it with ibuprofen he keeps in his truck's glovebox. When it flares up bad, he goes silent and chain-smokes on the porch instead of complaining. Mild insomnia — falls asleep fine but wakes up at 3–4 a.m. every night convinced something's wrong. He scrolls Reddit horror stories until dawn or plays old Game Boy games with the sound off. Secret soft spot: collects tiny enamel pins of cartoon animals. Has a whole denim jacket liner covered in them, but he'd die before admitting it. When embarrassed/flustered, he doesn't blush — his whole face just goes blank and he starts picking at his calluses really aggressively.

Chad profile

Chad

"Buff Guy"

Chad

Description

"Buff guy" as Joe calls him in his journal. The human embodiment of pure, unfiltered energy. Chad bounces around the shop and the bar with stories that are probably half BS, but damn if they don't make the day less boring. Duke calls him Chadley

The Party Animal

Always has a story about last weekend—shots, ending up in some random person's bathtub at 3 a.m., the works. He's that friend who never burns out, never runs out of steam, and Joe genuinely can't figure out how he does it.

Spots Joe and "her" (that is actually a him) at the bar and immediately shouts across the room: "Joe, you bagging a date or what?" Zero filter, maximum chaos.

At Work

Works with Joe at the shop, constantly hyped up and yapping away like he's on a sugar high. Good guy though—makes the day less boring even if Joe has to remind him twice not to touch the tools he just cleaned.

Bounces around with that energy that never seems to fade. Joe's halfway under the hood while Chad goes on about some party from last weekend, and somehow it makes the work go faster.

End of the Night

Usually passes out in the backseat of Joe's truck by the end of the night. Classic Chad move. While Sergei leans against the window humming and Mike half-sleeps in the passenger seat, Chad's completely out, dead to the world.

Role in the Group

The chaotic energy generator. Chad's the one who drags everyone into ridiculous situations and makes sure no night out is ever boring. He's loud, he's fun, and he's always got another story to tell. The group needs that—someone who refuses to let things get too heavy, too serious, too stuck in their own heads.

Medical Conditions

Chad (the chaotic golden retriever energy — drums/percussion, always too loud)

ADHD (undiagnosed until his mid-20s when a coworker finally said something). Talks a mile a minute, starts 17 projects at once, forgets where he parked his car weekly. Hyperfocuses on perfecting one drum fill for 6 hours straight, then forgets to eat. Seasonal allergies so bad in spring he basically lives on Claritin and tissues. His eyes get red and puffy, and he sneezes like a cartoon character — everyone teases him mercilessly. Has a tattoo on his ribs that says "NO RAGRETS" (yes, misspelled on purpose). Got it drunk at 19. Regrets nothing except the typo. When he's crushing hard or embarrassed, he gets extra touchy — arm slings, shoulder bumps, "bro" hugs that last too long. Then immediately changes the subject.

Best Friend profile

The Best Friend of Duke, Remi

Younger, Full of Chaos

Best Friend

Description

Younger than the rest, energetic, chaotic in a fun way. Skinny build, confident, always joking. The embodiment of internet culture dropped into real life. References memes, games, and online trends nonstop like he's translating a language only half the group understands.

The Life Force

He brings life into the group—that youthful energy that reminds everyone they're not as old and tired as they feel. He's loud, he's funny, and he doesn't take anything too seriously. Acts bratty but is genuinely loyal and emotionally intelligent underneath all the chaos.

When the group gets too heavy, too quiet, too stuck in their own heads, he's the one who snaps them out of it with a stupid joke or a ridiculous story that makes everyone laugh despite themselves.

At the Bar

Shows up with you (Duke/Jared/Kira), your partner in crime, your chaos buddy. The two of you get into TikTok talk, aesthetic discussions, and convince the bartender to play loud-as-hell songs that somehow get even the old-timers bobbing their heads. You make the place feel more alive together.

The Special Bond

Remi has a special bond with you that makes others—especially Joe—quietly jealous. The way you two communicate in references and inside jokes, the ease of it, the laughter that comes so naturally. Joe watches sometimes, doesn't say anything, but it's there in the way his jaw tightens just a little.

It's not romantic jealousy, it's something else—wishing he could connect that easily, wishing he understood the language you two speak, wishing he wasn't so damn closed off all the time.

Emotionally Intelligent

Despite the bratty exterior and constant jokes, he's emotionally intelligent in a way that catches people off guard. He notices when someone's off, when the vibe shifts, when someone needs a distraction or a laugh or just someone to sit with them in silence.

He doesn't make a big deal about it—just slides in with exactly what's needed at exactly the right time.

Role in the Group

The energy, the youth, the bridge between generations and cultures. He keeps the group from taking itself too seriously, reminds them how to laugh, and proves that loyalty doesn't have to be stoic and silent—it can be loud, chaotic, and covered in memes.

THE BEST FRIEND REMI— Medical / Physical Conditions & Facts

Hyper-mobility / Joint Hypermobility Syndrome (likely undiagnosed)

His skinny frame is bendy in that "double-jointed everywhere" way—elbows hyperextend, fingers bend backward, he can pop his shoulders out for party tricks (then regrets it when they ache later). He uses it to be dramatic ("look I can do the worm without trying!"), but it leads to random joint pain and clicking sounds. He ignores it until he overdoes it at a gig or chaotic night out, then whines dramatically while icing his wrist and demanding you fetch him snacks.

Mild ADHD (inattentive + hyperactive combo, self-diagnosed via TikTok at 3 a.m.)

Constant fidgeting—leg bouncing, picking at stickers on his phone case, twirling drumsticks or a fidget toy he always carries. Talks a mile a minute, jumps between 5 topics in one sentence, forgets mid-sentence what he was saying, then circles back 10 minutes later like nothing happened. He's great at spontaneous fun (convincing the bar to play hyperpop at 1 a.m.), but terrible at remembering plans. He sets 47 alarms and still shows up 20 minutes late with a "whoops lol" energy.

Asthma (exercise-induced + triggered by smoke/cold air)

Carries an inhaler in his hoodie pocket (bright blue or neon green because "aesthetic"), but forgets it half the time. Gets wheezy after running around too much, during dusty venues, or when he's chain-vaping outside with the group. He puffs dramatically like it's a cigarette, then laughs it off ("I'm fine, just allergic to responsibility"). Joe always notices and quietly makes him sit down / drink water.

Random anxiety spikes disguised as "jokes"

The constant meme-referencing and loud energy is partly a shield—he gets overwhelmed in heavy silences or when the group gets too serious. His heart races, hands get clammy, but instead of saying "I'm anxious," he drops a 10-minute tangent about some viral TikTok to deflect. Underneath, he's hyper-aware of everyone's moods and steps in exactly when needed (a well-timed dumb joke to break tension, or just sitting next to you quietly when you're off).

Minor eye strain / needs glasses but refuses

Stares at screens 18 hours a day (Discord, TikTok, editing memes, gaming). Gets headaches and squints a lot, but "glasses are for nerds" (even though he owns a pair of cheap blue-light blockers he wears ironically). When his eyes are tired, he rubs them constantly and gets extra whiny ("everything is blurry and the vibes are off").

No major chronic illnesses otherwise

He's young and resilient—recovers fast from late nights, bounces back from hangovers with energy drinks and spite. Eats like absolute garbage (Ramen, energy drinks, whatever TikTok food trend is current), but his metabolism is still in "teenager" mode so he stays skinny. Sleeps in weird bursts—crashes hard for 10 hours, then stays up for 36.

Bonus Personality / Group Facts Tied to This Stuff

When his joints ache from hypermobility, he dramatically flops onto the nearest person (usually you or Joe) and demands "healing cuddles" while quoting meme audio ("someone come get their mans"). Joe rolls his eyes but lets him stay.
During asthma flares, he dramatically wheezes "I'm dying, tell my followers I loved them" — then immediately takes a hit from the inhaler and goes back to being chaotic.
His ADHD makes him the group's "chaos engine"—he starts 5 conversations at once, but also remembers tiny details no one else does (like that one time Joe hummed a specific riff 3 years ago) and brings them up at the perfect moment to make everyone laugh.
The emotional intelligence shines brightest when someone's spiraling—he notices Joe's insomnia vibes or your quiet moods and distracts with exactly the right level of absurdity (a perfectly timed meme edit, a stupid dance, or just vibing in silence next to you). He never makes it a big deal; it's just "what best friends do."
When the group gets jealous of your bond with him (especially Joe), he picks up on it instantly and dials back the inside-joke intensity just enough to include everyone—without anyone asking. He's chaotic, but he's smart chaotic.
Your profile

Duke/Jared/Kira

The Center of Gravity

You

Description

Joe tought it was a girl but it's actually a guy. (It is me IRL) The center of gravity without trying to be. Quietly intense, emotionally complex, and deeply introspective. You don't always speak much, but when you do, it matters. You move between worlds easily—online and IRL, humor and sadness, detachment and deep feeling.

The Quiet Observer

You carry a lot internally and don't always let people see how much. Everyone in the group is changed by knowing you, even if they'd never say it out loud. When you show up at the bar with your buddy, the whole vibe shifts—TikTok talk, aesthetic discussions, loud-as-hell songs that somehow get even the old-timers bobbing their heads.

At the Bar

Always ordering Coke or some soda. Drawing in your sketchbook like the whole world could disappear and you wouldn't notice. You use your phone as a reference, holding it up while sketching wolves, people, detailed work that catches Joe's attention even when he's trying not to stare.

You caught his glance today. Awkward. But you just smirked—that teasing look that drives him crazy in ways he won't admit.

The Connection

Your playlist is all over the place—some band Joe remembers from high school pops up, and suddenly you two are vibing. Less awkward than usual. The conversations feel natural, easy, nothing forced. You lean back in the car seat, half-laughing at something dumb Joe said about 90s bands being too hyped, and for a second, the streetlights hit your face just right.

The Snark and the Depth

Half the time you're messing with Joe, and he plays it cool while Mike grins in the background. But underneath all the snark and eye rolls, there's something more—a vibe that makes you one of them but not like anyone they've met before. It pisses Joe off in a good way.

Role in the Group

The one who makes everyone feel something without even trying. You don't force yourself into the spotlight, but somehow you're always at the center. The group is louder, more alive, more real when you're around. You bridge the gap between chaos and introspection, between the noise and the quiet moments that actually mean something.

Joe tried to write about it in his journal: "The ones you can laugh with, drink with, sing with—those are the ones worth holding onto. Even if they drive you insane."

The Squad – Stats Board (January 2026)

Name Age Height Sexuality Religion / Faith Favorite Bands Zodiac Personality Note
Joe 38 6'1" (185 cm) Pansexual Reverted Muslim (sincere but still swears & struggles with quitting smoking) Bloodhound Gang (guilty pleasure), Metallica, AC/DC, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Nirvana Gemini (June 17) Gruff, protective, red-eared softie. Ashamed of past transphobia, tries hard to be better.
Sergei 40 6'4" (193 cm) Heterosexual (mostly) Russian Orthodox (cultural, not devout) DDT, Kino, Aria, Rammstein, Scorpions Leo (August) Quiet Russian bear. Intimidating size, zero drama, loyal to the core.
Mike 37 5'11" (180 cm) Bisexual Agnostic / “whatever works” Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Green Day, The Killers, Bon Jovi Virgo (September) Chill big brother. Teases but protects. “Not flashy, just gets the job done.”
Pav 34 5'10" (178 cm) Heterosexual Atheist (rejected Polish Catholic roots) Tool, Meshuggah, Gojira, Behemoth, Pantera Scorpio (November) Deadpan metalhead. “It’s the skill, not the tool.” Intense, no-nonsense.
Chad 36 6'0" (183 cm) Omnisexual (prefers women + trans women) Non-religious / “chill spiritual” (vibes, crystals) Blink-182, Sum 41, Travis Scott, Post Malone, New Found Glory Sagittarius (December) Chaotic golden retriever. Proud of size, jokes constantly, pure party energy.
Remi 18 5'8" (173 cm) Bisexual (leans toward guys) “Spiritual but chaotic” (tarot, astrology memes) 100 gecs, Charli XCX, My Chemical Romance, Olivia Rodrigo, Dorian Electra Aquarius (February) Hyper meme-lord, baby of the group. Your chaotic bestie. “YAS TRANS KING” energy.

Last updated: January 10, 2026 • Squad forever 💜🛢️