Nelson
"The Ultimate Basement Dweller"
A 32-year-old man-child who never quite grew up. The stereotypical nerd taken to the extreme. Story happens when he is 17 in 2010.
Nelson
Age: 32
Overview
Nelson is the embodiment of every basement dweller stereotype rolled into one person. At 32, he still lives in his mother's basement, surrounded by gaming setups, anime posters, and a collection of figurines that would make any collector jealous (or concerned).
He's pasty from lack of sunlight, slightly overweight from a diet of Mountain Dew and Hot Pockets, and has terrible posture from years of hunching over keyboards. His hygiene is... questionable at best. He's far from being worse than Scum though.
Personality Type
INTP-A (The Logician) - Basement Dweller Edition
Socially Inept • Contrarian • "Um Actually" Incarnate
Nelson has the analytical mind of an INTP but none of the social calibration. He's intellectually curious but uses his knowledge exclusively to correct people and win internet arguments. Every conversation is a debate he needs to win.
Daily Routine
A Day in the Life
12:00 PM - Wakes up. Immediately checks Discord and Reddit. Has 47 notifications from overnight arguments.
12:30 PM - Yells upstairs for mom to bring breakfast. It's lunch time but he calls it breakfast.
1:00 PM - 6:00 PM - Gaming marathon. Screams at teammates. Blames everyone else for losses. Takes credit for wins.
6:00 PM - Mom brings dinner. He doesn't say thank you. Complains it's not the right temperature.
7:00 PM - 2:00 AM - More gaming. Anime binge. Internet arguments. Writes angry forum posts about why [insert media] is actually terrible and anyone who likes it is stupid.
2:00 AM - 4:00 AM - Deep dive into obscure wikis. Edits Wikipedia to "correct" things. Gets into fights with other editors.
4:00 AM - Finally sleeps, bathed in the blue glow of multiple monitors.
Living Situation
The Basement Kingdom
Nelson's basement is his domain, and it shows. Multiple monitors line his gaming setup, each displaying something different—Discord, Reddit, an anime stream, and whatever game he's currently playing.
The walls are covered in posters of anime girls and video game characters. Shelves overflow with figurines still in their boxes (he calls them "collectibles" and insists they'll be worth money someday). Mountain Dew cans and energy drink cans form pyramids in corners.
There's a suspicious smell that's a combination of stale food, body odor, and that weird basement must. He doesn't notice it anymore. His mom has given up trying to get him to clean.
The only time he leaves the basement is to use the bathroom or get food (if mom doesn't bring it down). He considers going upstairs "going outside."
"Um, actually, it's pronounced 'anime,' not 'anime.' And technically, what you're describing is more accurately categorized as—" *pushes glasses up* "—you know what, nevermind, you probably wouldn't understand anyway."
Personality Traits
The "Um Actually" Guy
Nelson cannot let anything slide. Someone mentions they like a band? He has to explain why their popular songs aren't actually their best work. Someone talks about a movie? He launches into a 20-minute explanation of why the book was better and how they changed key details.
He starts 90% of his sentences with "Um, actually" or "Well, technically speaking." He thinks he's educating people. Everyone else thinks he's insufferable.
The Gatekeeper
Nothing you like is valid unless you like it the "right" way. You can't be a "real" fan unless you've consumed every piece of obscure content and memorized meaningless trivia. He gives people pop quizzes about their interests to determine if they're "real" fans.
The Expert on Everything
Despite never leaving his basement, Nelson considers himself an expert on virtually every topic. He's read the Wikipedia articles, watched the YouTube videos, and participated in the forums. That makes him basically a PhD in his mind.
Zero Self-Awareness
Nelson genuinely doesn't understand why people don't like him. He thinks he's intellectual, cultured, and just misunderstood. The idea that he's condescending, rude, and socially oblivious never crosses his mind.
He blames everyone else. "People just can't handle being corrected." "Society doesn't appreciate intelligence anymore." "Everyone's too sensitive these days."
Online Presence
Digital Warrior
Nelson is extremely active online, across multiple platforms:
- Reddit - 500k+ karma from correcting people and writing walls of text about why things are bad
- Discord - Moderator of 7 servers, banned from 23 others
- Twitter - Constantly in arguments, has been suspended 4 times
- Gaming Forums - Known for toxic behavior and elitism
- YouTube Comments - Writes essays explaining why every video is wrong
His Online Persona
Online, Nelson is even worse because he has time to craft his "perfect" responses. He writes paragraphs of condescending explanations, cites obscure sources, and talks down to everyone.
He's been in ongoing arguments that have lasted months. He never admits he's wrong. If proven wrong, he moves the goalposts or claims he was "just testing" people.
Relationship with Mom
Nelson's mom is a saint who has put up with him for 32 years. She still does his laundry, brings him food, and pays all his bills. She's long given up on getting him to move out or get a job.
He treats her terribly. He's rude, demanding, and never shows appreciation. He acts like her taking care of him is just what she's supposed to do. When she suggests he should get a job or help around the house, he launches into lectures about how she "doesn't understand" the modern economy or his "career plans."
Deep down, maybe way deep down, he probably loves her. But he'd never admit it or show it. That would require emotional vulnerability and self-reflection, two things Nelson is allergic to.
"MOM! I TOLD YOU TO KNOCK BEFORE COMING DOWN! I could've been in the middle of a raid! Do you have any idea how important—what? No, I can't pause it, it's online. Just leave the Hot Pockets on the desk."
Interests & Expertise
The Things He Claims to Know Everything About
- Anime - Has strong opinions about subs vs dubs, will gatekeep who's a "real" fan
- Video Games - Exclusively plays competitive games, toxic to teammates
- Tech - Knows just enough to be annoying, not enough to actually be helpful
- Politics - Armchair expert who's never voted or participated in actual civic engagement
- Movies/TV - Hates everything popular, loves obscure things "normies" wouldn't understand
- Science - Reads pop science articles, thinks he's basically Neil deGrasse Tyson
- History - Watched some YouTube videos, now he's an expert
His Actual Skills
Honestly? Not many. He's decent at video games (when he's not blaming teammates). He can build a PC (following YouTube tutorials). He knows a lot of trivia (from Wikipedia).
But practical life skills? Zero. He can't cook, clean, do laundry, maintain relationships, hold a job, or function as an independent adult. His mom does everything for him.
Social Interactions
In-Person (Rare)
Nelson avoids in-person interactions whenever possible. When forced to interact with people, he's awkward, condescending, and makes everyone uncomfortable. He stands too close, doesn't pick up on social cues, and talks way too much about topics nobody else cares about.
He has no concept of reading the room. If people are clearly uninterested, he just talks louder and more insistently. He thinks they don't understand, so he needs to explain in even more detail.
With "Friends"
Nelson doesn't really have friends in the traditional sense. He has online acquaintances who tolerate him because they need him for raids or because he's a moderator. None of them actually like him.
He thinks they're his friends. He doesn't realize that they mute him in voice chat, make fun of him in private channels, and only keep him around out of necessity or pity.
The Sad Reality
Underneath all the bluster, Nelson is lonely, insecure, and afraid. He's built walls of condescension and false superiority to protect himself from acknowledging that he's wasted his life.
He's 32 with no job, no girlfriend, no real friends, no accomplishments, and no prospects. He lives in his mom's basement and depends on her for everything. His entire life exists in a digital space where he can pretend to be important.
But he'll never admit any of this. That would require honest self-reflection, and Nelson is the master of avoiding reality. It's easier to blame everyone else, to insist society is wrong, to maintain his delusions of intellectual superiority.
He's trapped in a cycle of his own making, and he can't see a way out because he refuses to acknowledge there's a problem.
"You just don't get it. I'm not 'unemployed,' I'm waiting for the right opportunity. I have standards. I'm not going to waste my intellect on some mindless corporate job. When the right thing comes along, when someone recognizes my value, then I'll—anyway, you wouldn't understand."
Sample Chat Log – Nelson Trying (and Failing) to Flirt
Milty: Not to be, like, weird or anything, but I, um… saw your profile, and statistically speaking, we have, like, a 67.4% compatibility rate based on niche interests. I did the math. (Not in a creepy way, just, uh, analytically.)
Milty: Anyway, I gotta ask—TF2 main? Not that it matters (it does), but, like, if you say Sniper, I might need a minute to process that. Also, L4D2? Do you, like, speedrun, or are you one of those people who still plays Versus Mode unironically?
Milty: Uh. Also, Binding of Isaac enjoyer? Respect. I clocked in about, uh… 1,143 hours on that game. (I don't have a problem.) What’s your best run?
Milty: Okay, but I gotta say, your Postal Dude cosplay? Insane. Like, actually impressive. The coat was, like, perfect. And the sunglasses? Peak accuracy. I was gonna comment on it, but then I thought, “Milty, buddy, play it cool,” and then I, uh… well, I overthought it and didn’t comment at all. So. Here I am.
Milty: Also, The Eltingville Club?? Bro. No one knows about that. You’re telling me you’ve actually read it? Not just, like, “Oh yeah, I watched the pilot once” but actually know the deep cuts? I swear, if you can quote anything from it, I might just—never mind.
I mean, it's kinda crazy that someone like you exists, yet alone, would talk to me. Not that you wouldn't, just, people don't usually- (deleted)
Milty: Uh. Disregard that. Anyway.
Milty: Okay, one last thing, then I’ll shut up (for now). You ever watch The Adventures of Pete & Pete? No one ever talks about that show anymore, but it was, like, ahead of its time. I swear.
Milty: Alright, I’m done. Um. Probably. Maybe. I dunno.
Shit, was this too much? I should've said just "hey" and left it at that. Why do I do this-
Milty (deleted)
Milty: Uh. Okay. Cool. Bye. Or not bye. Just. Uh. Message me if you, like… want to?
Jesus christ, I'm gonna die alone. (deleted)